[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
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Old town road

twitchquotes: I got the horses๐Ÿด in the back๐Ÿ”™ ๐Ÿ˜Œ Horse๐Ÿด tack is attached๐Ÿ‘Œ Hat ๐Ÿค is matte black๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟ Got the boots๐Ÿ‘ข thatโ€™s black๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿฟ to match๐Ÿค Ridinโ€™ on a horse๐Ÿด, ha๐Ÿคฃ You๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŒพ can whip ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ‘Šyour Porsche๐Ÿš— I been in the โ›ฐ๏ธvalleyโ›ฐ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ You ainโ€™t ๐Ÿ™…โ™‚๏ธbeen up๐Ÿ‘† off the porch๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ˜ด, now Canโ€™t nobody tell๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ me๐Ÿค  nothinโ€™โŒ
twitch chat
June 2019

Emoji Pasta

GIDDY UP SEXMAS

December 2023

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Am I racist? (serious)

Hello r/blacklivesmatter. I have a question. So before I explain what happened, lemme just say this. Iโ€™m white (oppressor) and Iโ€™m very bad because Iโ€™m white. I recently was texting my friend (also oppressor) and was using some emojis to convey what I was saying. I generally use the default skin toned emojis which are a bright yellow color. One day though, my finger slipped and I accidentally used one of the darker skin toned ๐Ÿ– emoji. After realizing the horrible act of racism Iโ€™d just committed, I immediately deleted the reply as it had been rooted in racism and thereโ€™s no excuse for that. I then profusely apologized over Instagram messages to all of my accomplices, friends and acquaintances of color. A majority of them had responses that said that what happened was completely fine but I realized their opinion was probably white washed because of me (oppressor) and other white people (domestic terrorists/oppressors). So now I ask, am I racist because of this?
August 2021

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp
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