[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
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⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

Jam a man of fortune xQc

π’₯𝒢𝓂 𝒢 𝑀𝒢𝓃 π‘œπ’» πΉπ‘œπ“‡π“‰π“Šπ“ƒπ‘’, 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’₯ π“‚π“Šπ“ˆπ“‰ π“ˆπ‘’π‘’π“€ π“‚π“Ž πΉπ‘œπ“‡π“‰π“Šπ“ƒπ‘’ οΌπ»π‘’π“ƒπ“‡π“Ž Γ†π“‹π‘’π“‡π’Ύπ‘’π“ˆ, 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟦
May 2021
xQcOW

Harambe Fresh Prince of Bel Air

twitchquotes: In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where i spent most of my days, Chillin out hanging out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool, When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gun shot just before I stopped breathing air...
twitch chat
October 2016

Harambe

I am a manager for many twitch celebrities

twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

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