[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
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SIMP CHECK

twitchquotes: SIMP CHECK monkaS 馃憠 pokiW IM SAFE PogU
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (路炭墓摊路炭 炭)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (路炭墓摊路炭 炭)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Cypher

twitchquotes: What do we have here? Ah, it鈥檚 the enemy, trying to hide their secrets among their little, feeble minds. But they fail to realize one thing. I am always watching, I know your every move, every step because nothing stays hidden from me. You can try to hide behind your corners, you can try to scurry away to safety, but I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE! But first, gimme a corpse
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I鈥檓 having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

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