[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

ZULUL 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⠏⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣠⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⢀⡀⠄⠤⠤⠤⠤⠄⢠⣀⣤⣍⡻⣿⣧⡀⠤⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡇⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⢒⠄⣀⠄⠠⠘⢨⣈⢿⣿⣿⣤⣤⡚⠫⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⣰⣿⣆⢿⠋⣀⣀⣰⡏⣾⣿⣿⠿⣿⣧⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠈⠁⠚⠛⠛⠙⠻⢿⣟⠛⣉⠄⠁⠉⢩⣼⠁⠓⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⣾⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡷⠉⢀⣿⡏⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠉⠉⣉⠉⣩⠉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣷⡴⠿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠋⠛⠛⠛⠋⠛⠉⠒⠻⠛⠁⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠛⠓⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2018

FeelsAmazingMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣩⣭⣥⣭⣭⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣶⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠙⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣔⠻⣿⣿⣿⢸⡴⠆⢀⡾⠟⠁⠀⢰⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣎⠛⠿⠓⠒⠈⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇⠒⠒⠒⠂⢀⣠⣴⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠒⢋⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠿⠋⢵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣴⡿⠟⣋⣤⣦⡙⢌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⢀⣠⡶⠿⢛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠳⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⢀⣰⠂⢀⣤⣶⠾⢛⣡⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠟⠃⠀⣿⡉⢥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡙⢎⢻⣿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⠰⡄⠈⠻⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⢿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠻⣦⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⠳⠈⡌⢿ ⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠈⠛⢷⣤⡁⠤⣤⣍⡛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠙⠻⣷⣶⣬⣍⣒⡂⠈⠍⢐⣛⣩⣥⣴⠾⢋⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing