[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Forsen banned

twitchquotes: Twitch streamer Forsen was banned on May 8th for a misleading stream title "ranking up" when playing Valorant. Twitch strictly forbids false advertisement from streamers on its platform. It's unclear when Forsen will be unbanned but no one watches a washed up streamer anyways.
twitch chat
May 2020
Forsen

Levitating a hockey stick

twitchquotes: ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)โ•ฏโ•ฒ_____ don't mind me, just levitating a hockey stick
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I cam I saw I came I saw

twitchquotes: I came ๐Ÿƒ I saw ๐Ÿ‘€ I came ๐Ÿƒ I saw ๐Ÿ‘€ I praise ๐Ÿ™ the Lord ๐Ÿ˜‡ then break ๐Ÿ’ฅ the law ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ I take ๐Ÿ–๏ธ what's mine ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ then take ๐Ÿ–๏ธ some more ๐Ÿ˜Œ It rains ๐ŸŒง๏ธ it pours โ›† it rains ๐ŸŒง๏ธ it pours โ›†
twitch chat
August 2018

Tips n Tricks to feeding

twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! I'm gonna be doing some volunteering next week at a Food Bank and was wondering if you could play a fatty Yasuo game to teach me the Tips n Tricks to feeding! Thanks in advance and God bless
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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