[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

It's Chad from your freshman English class

twitchquotes: Hey you little gayboy, nice hat. It's Chad from your freshman English class, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games like a sissy cuck - AS USUAL. Thought maybe you'd man up after highschool, but now you're wearing skirts and makeup for a bunch of dweebs online. Have a nice life, dumbass.
twitch chat
April 2018
Sneaky

KappaPride

Tanner from High School

KekHands

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ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

John Xina needs your credit card info

🚨🚨CALLING ALL TENCENT GAMERS🚨🚨 JOHN XINA 🇨🇳🍦LOST HIS SOCIAL CREDIT 🤯 🤭AND NEEDS YOUR HELP TO GET IT BACK 👍👍🇨🇳 ALL HE NEEDS IS THE 1️⃣2️⃣ DIGITS ON YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT CARD 💳 ALONG WITH THE EXPIRATION DATE 📅 AND THOSE 3️⃣ WACKY DIGITS ON THE BACK 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🍦
November 2021

Just saw Trump in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just saw Trump in a hotel and I asked if he was going to win the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while chanting “make America great again” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will
twitch chat
December 2020

2020 US Election

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