[Copypasta] Homo Sapiens

twitchquotes: When I was 12 yrs old, a male friend asked me if I was Homosexual or Heterosexual. I didn't know what either meant, but I did know we were called Homo Sapiens. So I said I was Homosexual. He laughed at me. He then explained the difference and then I said I must be heterosexual because I had sex with his mom.
twitch chat
July 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Lisa Ann wants Trick2g to be in the porn industry

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July 2014
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GUYS PLEASE HELP! I NEED HELP!

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 👉 IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
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⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣠⣀⣀⡀⠄⠱⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⡤⠄⠁⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⡄⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣼⣷⠄⣷⣾⠛⡉⠉⡓⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡤⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣛⣩⣤⣄⠹⣤⣤⣀⣂⣠⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠘⢿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠋⠉⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⡟⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣏⢻⣦⣤⡘⠷⣴⣶⣧⣄⡠⠄⢀⣀⠏⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⠈⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⡦⠤⠭⠤⠤⣾⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠙⣿⣿⣇⡀⣀⠄⠿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠘⠘⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2019

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021
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