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August 2018

Classic

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Okayge COCK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠄⣀⡤⢤⣤⣈⠁⣠⡔⠶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⠁⡀⢹⣿⣷⢹⡇⠄⠎⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣇⣀⣡⣾⣿⡿⠉⠛⠒⠒⠋⠉⢸ ⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣧⡈⠿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⢄⣾ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣶⣌⣙⡛⠛⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⣒⣒⣚⣋⡩⢱⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⢉⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⣿⡿⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣾⣿⣧⠄⢻⡏⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⡟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠈⠙⠛⢻⣧⡄⠙⠛⠉⣠⣿⣷⣄⠈⠙⠛⢹⡇⠄⣿⣧⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

Please wake up, we miss you

twitchquotes: If you’re reading this, you’ve been in coma for almost 20 years now. We’re trying a new technique. We don’t know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope it works. Please wake up, we miss you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Classic

I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire

twitchquotes: I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire and prophetic indictments of contemporary Twitch chat. Copypasta when I was a younger teenager had the potency to topple Nazi moderatorships and revolutionize new chat epochs. Even the truncation of "copypasta" to "pasta" shows a lack of eloquence that speaks volumes. If, like me, you are a product of those better times and wish to see them return then speak out. Let the memers and Toucans know that real copypasta back.
twitch chat
July 2015

MODS

Classic

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

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