[Copypasta] I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

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twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
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Reynad

QT locks in Ezreal

twitchquotes: Somedays I sit at my computer desk, wondering if this is it. Is this my life? Is this what I want? I then look to QT's stream. He locks in Ezreal. I smile. This is what I want for my life.
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BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
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Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿฟ Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours ๐Ÿฟ
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Text-to-Speech Playing