[Copypasta] I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

ME ICEFROG ME SPAM NO 700 IF BAN

twitchquotes: OSFrog ME ICEFROG OSFrog ME SPAM OSFrog NO 700 OSFrog IF BAN OSFrog
twitch chat
December 2016

Dota 2

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

OURcraft?!?!?

Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?😂😂 I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! 🤣🤣😂🤢😂😢😜 Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? 😁🤣😂😆🤮🤣🤣😂 Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! 😁😁😁😁😁 Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! 🤣🤣🤗😅😆😂🤢😁😄😫🤯😅🤣🤣🤣 Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
December 2020

Emoji Pasta

Inappropriate humor

twitchquotes: All of this “dick humor” is highly Inappropriate, my dick is 2.462 feet long and still growing, all of you twitch “charters” can’t even compensate the size
twitch chat
April 2019

Anime girl 4

⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⢸⣿⣿⣆⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣦⡀⠙⢶⣦⣄⡀⠄⡠⠞⠁⢀⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣎⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⢄⡙⠻⠿⠷⠶⠤⢐⣋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⢤⣤⣄⣠⡘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠂⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡇⢰⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡄⠄⠈⠄⣷⢠⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢹⣿⣼⣿⣯⢁⣤⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣴⠶⣲⣵⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣟⣡⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠰⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣷⣿⣿⡏⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣞⢸⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
December 2018

Weebs

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing