[Copypasta] I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018
I used to be a real ad
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

when were you when john lenin dies

twitchquotes: apology for poor english. when were you when john lenin dies? i was sat at home eating smegma butter when pjotr ring. ‘john is kill’ ‘no’
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Duck

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⣭⣶⣶⣮⣭⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⠹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⣠⡶⣶⣲⡎⢻⣿⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⡥⡶⣞⡯⣟⣾⣺⢽⡧⣥⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢻⣿ ⡃⣾⢯⢿⢽⣫⡯⣷⣳⢯⡯⠯⠷⠻⠞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿ ⣦⣍⡙⠫⠛⠕⣋⡓⠭⣡⢶⠗⣡⣶⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣛⣋⣡⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸
December 2019

Clash Royale He He He Ha emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣛⡉⢹⢛⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⡆⠀⣿⣷⣬⣼⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣾⡿⠿⠿⠛⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠫⠶⠿⠟⣋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠏⠩⣭⣭⠉⠘⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⠤⠴⢯⣭⢤⠤⢄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠶⠬⢼⣸⣇⢠⠬⠼⠌⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣮⣅⣛⠻⠇⠿⢛⣃⣩⣴⠃⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠿⠟⠻⠟⣛⠻⢿⠿⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠲⠈⣭⣭⢩⣭⡴⠐⠀⠀⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Clash Royale

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta

HOLA👋🏻 all you dirty little TACO🌮SLUTS😘🤣do you know what day it is?!🤔 I smell immigrants🙎🏾‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️ and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION🙅🏼 so it must be SINKO DE FUCKING MAYONNAISE😩💦🍻🌮❤️🌯 Hide your KIDS👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, hide your BURRITOS🌯, and get your CUMMIES READY😩cause DADDY TRUMP🇧🇪is coming to deport us all🤷🏽‍♂️🙆🏾 But DONT FORGET to drink TACOS 🌮 and eat TEQUILA 🍸because the only way for you FILTHY CUMSLUTS to stay in America🇺🇸is to PARTYYY🎈🎉🎁😍💦😩 So send this to CINCO(5 you dumb bitch) of the SLUTTIEST😏 jars of MAYO you know and if you DONT ❌get any back you get NO 🚫🚫CULTURAL CUMMIES 😭🤷🏽‍♂️🌮💦😩
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Text-to-Speech Playing