[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
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November 2018
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Kripp and Hafu

twitchquotes: ＫＲＩＰＰ ＴＨＩＳ ＩＳ ＨＡＦＵ． ＹＯＵ ＡＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＲＯＵＢＬＥ ＭＩＳＴＥＲ． Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｇａｙ！ Ｙｏｕ ｔａｌｋ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｐｈｏｎｅ ｅｖｅｒｙ ｎｉｇｈｔ， ａｎｄ ｗｈｏ ｃａｎ ｆｏｒｇｅｔ ｏｕｒ ｎｉｇｈｔｓ ｏｆ ｅｎｄｌｅｓｓ ｎｉｐｐｌｅ ｐｌａｙ？ Ｓｔｏｐ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｒａｄｅ ａｎｄ ｃｏｍｅ ｂａｃｋ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ Ｈａｆｕ ｂａｂｙ． Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ．
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March 2014
Kripp

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Intelligest response to "Who asked?"

What if somebody did ask, huh, what then? I'm sure they were quite satisfied with the answer. But you, no, you cannot for the life of you find a way to somehow think about what someone else thinks or feels. When you imply that nobody asked, you're talking solely about yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Try to find the simple joys of life instead of wasting perhaps the best years of your life away, sitting in your shit smeared, cheeto dust covered, cum bespeckled ergonomic office chair. Maybe start working out, think about somebody other than you, secure yourself a date, anything will work, so long as you get the fuck outside and stop asking "who asked" every 2 fucking minutes, because quite frankly nobody asked for your opinion as well. You're but a speck of extra stinky shit in a pile of manure, that's all the significance you have in this world, but you can change that with 4 simple words: Shutting the fuck up. Thank you and have a good day
November 2021

Who Asked?

Absence of the "legendary" card back

twitchquotes: ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ ) Hello Kripparian. Reginald and Dan Dinh, Owners of Team SoloMid™ here. We gained access to your Hearthstone account and couldn't help but notice the absence of the "legendary" card back. This poorly reflects on Team SoloMid, and, as such, we have decided to remove you from the team. Please return your jacket. Thank you ( ರ Ĺ̯ ರೃ )
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April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Team Liquid / TL

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⢰⣦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠹⣿⣷⠀⠸⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⡀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣦⡀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣷⡀⢄⡈⠒⣨⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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February 2019
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