[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

K3soju dating FIRST or EIF

twitchquotes: K3soju met that cute girl. They talked a lot, she seemed perfect. Caring, funny and also unbelievably pretty. He felt that she is the one for him. Once, during their long night conversation, he asked her how many boyfriends she had before him. She said - only one. Michael got furious. "There's no way. I'm not playing for second! I'm FIRST or EIF" Then he muted her and never met her again.
twitch chat
January 2022
k3soju

I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime

twitchquotes: I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime. Like, they didn't choose to be born with an IQ of 20 in a home with unloving parents. Imagine all the bullying they must experience at home, at school, and at the special services daycare. Let's stop bullying them, guys. They may be too retarded to understand that's what we're doing, but that doesn't mean we should pick on them. Thank you
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Tuck Frump into bed

twitchquotes: I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

That's some bad shit right there

twitchquotes: do NOT sign me the FUCK up ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€ bad shit baฬทฬถ ิ sHit ๐Ÿ‘Ž thats โŒ some bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Žshit right ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž th ๐Ÿ‘Ž ere ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž right โŒ there โŒ โŒ if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ†๐Ÿšซ i say so ๐Ÿšซ thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) mMMMMแŽทะœ ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽะO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽBad shit
twitch chat
April 2016
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