[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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AYAYA 3

⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇⡇⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿ ⡟⢸⣿⣿⣭⣭⡭⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣧⣇⠇⢸⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠘⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣻⡿⣿⣿⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⠇⡆⣝⠿⡌⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⢣⢾⣾⣷⣾⣽⣻⣿⣇⣿⣿⣧⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⢸⣹⣿⣆⢥⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣛⡓⣉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠿⣹⡏⣿⣿⣧⢸⣧⣿⣿⣨⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⠸⣷⣹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣯⣳⣿⣭⣽⢼⣿⣜⣿⣇⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣿ ⠄⢻⣷⣿⡄⢈⠿⠇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠛⠲⢯⣿⣒⡾⣼⣷⡹⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿ ⡄⢸⣿⣿⣷⣬⣽⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠳⠽⠿⢠⣿⣿ ⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢄⣹⡿⠃⠄⠄⣰⠎⡈⣾⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣖⣄⣴⣯⣾⢷⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠊⠙⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⣴⢾⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢽⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣛⣻⠿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣷⣽⠻⣇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣵⣿⣟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠱⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⢮⣚⡛⠒⠛⢛⣋⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⠿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣺⢿
ascii art
October 2018

Weebs

10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work

twitchquotes: You know what I hate? The fact that we 10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work due to the "leave it to night crew" attitude. I think we need further actualization on the night counter crew if you will. Have you ever heard the phrase: life is about the journey, not the destination? I want to rally people to act in such a way to benefit the good of the stream. I don't like trolling. Its self sacrificial in nature. I am like Jesus in a sense. I troll only because of your sins.
twitch chat
May 2019
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp this is Juan Castro from Mexico. Me Englando is ferry bad but i just wantet to zay zat i crossed the river in a rubber boot to Murica to become a pro player! One day i saw ur stream and i see how handsome and good u are. Dat day i decided i wanna become like u! Zo i killed my wife sold her, bought a rubber boat and now im here! Zank u for inspiring me! One day i become good player and pimp like u! or else rapist like unle Benni No coparoni peperoni pastarino plz!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario??? sorry if this ofends anyone but i thought it was a funny thing haha. and i would like to know if any of you have any pics of yoshi pooping an egg while he looks nervous or embarrassed i just want to see it for a few laughs haha. another thing i am wondering is what do you think the eggs smell like haha im just curious for laughs haha i would like to smell them
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

Classic

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