[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius

twitchquotes: Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius. We have never before had the ability to step inside the mind of these great ADC players - thanks to streaming and his willingness to commentate what he is thinking, we now have a glimpse into how much deeper they are thinking about the game than the rest of us. What a time to be alive!
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

League of Legends

Well met m'ladies of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴍ'ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ᴏғ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ Cʜᴀᴛ! I'ᴍ ᴀɴ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ, ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ (ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴛᴀɪʟᴏʀᴇᴅ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀs) ʙᴀᴄʜᴇʟᴏʀ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴᴇsᴛ Dᴏʀɪᴛᴏs (Cᴏᴏʟ Rᴀɴᴄʜ). Iғ ᴀɴʏ ʙᴜxᴏᴍ ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇs (ɴᴏ ғᴀᴛᴛɪᴇs) ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ sᴇx, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ PM.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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