[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
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A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare

twitchquotes: Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
September 2015

Copy pasters are such idiots.

twitchquotes: Copy pasters are such idiots. Imagine being so dumb you just CTRL + C what other people write? Wasting oxygen for real. Try an original thought please.
twitch chat
March 2020

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

Brofist

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
February 2015
Kripp

15 camels

twitchquotes: Hey Forsen, this Ali Muhammed from ISIS camp in Syria. Because you played that Skrillex song defiling our god we will now bomb your home unless you pay us 15 camels.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen
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