[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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This person...

twitchquotes: πŸ‘† gachiBASS this person fucked this person in the ass πŸ‘‡ gachiBASS
twitch chat
August 2018

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said β€œdirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said β€œdirtier!” So I said β€œI’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

You have been gifted a subscription.

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted a subscription. Type !claim to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend IncorporatedΒ©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Your only friend is Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT MOMENT FeelsBadMan WHEN YOU REALIZE FeelsBadMan THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND FeelsBadMan IS TWITCH CHAT FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing