[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky?

twitchquotes: (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Call on me! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Yes little Dong? γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ Kripp is never lucky, sir! (⌐ Ν‘β–’ ΝœΚ– Ν‘β–’) Wrong, Kripp is lucky a reasonable amount of time. Come see me after class for your punishment . Κ•βŒ Ν‘β–’ ͜α΄₯ Ν‘β–’Κ”
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒ ｉｔｓ Ｓｔａｖｒｏｓ ο½”ο½ˆο½… Ｆｒｕｉｔ οΌ³ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½…ο½’ ｆｒｏｍ the bazaar． Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ ｔｏ ο½”ο½…ο½Œο½Œ ｙｏｕ ｂｕｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ο½„ο½’ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½…ο½„ Ｇｒｅｅｃｅ＇ｓ ο½…ο½Žο½”ο½‰ο½’ο½… ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ο½Œο½™ ｏｆ οΌ―ο½’ο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½“οΌŽ ２ｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ ｏｎ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ο½—ο½… ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｔｏ ο½ˆο½‰ο½„ο½… ο½ο½Žο½™ οΌ―οΌͺ ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ο½Œο½™ ｙｏｕ ο½ο½‰ο½‡ο½ˆο½” ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½Œο½…ο½†ο½”οΌŽ οΌ·ο½… ο½ƒο½ο½Ž ο½Žο½ο½— ο½ο½Žο½Œο½™ ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½Œ ｙｏｕ οΌ―ο½Œο½‰ο½–ο½… οΌͺｕｉｃｅ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ｏｄｄ ο½Šο½ο½’ ｏｆ οΌ΄ο½šο½ο½”ο½šο½‰ο½‹ο½‰οΌŽ οΌ°ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½… ｎｏ ｇｙｒｏ ο½ο½•ο½šο½
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Yoshi

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–“β–„ β–„β–€β–€β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Having to call a judge β€œyour honor” is so cringey (found on /r/unpopularopinion)

β€œYour Honor”. I mean gimmie a fuckin’ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too? I’ve seriously seen courtrooms where they’ll say β€œSir” and the judge will be like β€œIt’s β€œYour Honor” young man!!” Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title? Use β€œSir” like everybody else. It’s some LARPING I’d expect kids to do. β€œOh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!” Shut up. EDIT: I’m literally 22 and have never been in front of a judge, y’all, please relax and slow down with the theory crafting/ story writing. EDIT 2: A lot of people are saying β€œit’s just a title, like Doctor!”. Judges have a title like β€œDoctor”, it’s called β€œJudge” - Doctors don’t expect us to call them β€œThy Healer” or some crap like that.
August 2021

Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat

twitchquotes: Hello Miguel Santander, this is your cat, Mellow Cat, I heard that you were complaining about my excesive meowing. I dont complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
October 2015
imaqtpie
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