[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Your social credit score has increased

δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [5] Integers. Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [100] Integers. You can now have priority transport and can now get into prestigious colleges! Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Citzen! Your social credit score has increased by [500] Integers. You can now take up official, government job, where we pay you high salary, unlike America. Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Citizen! Your social credit score has increased by [1000] Integers. We will ensure you get great salary, good benefits, and good social standing, no matter the means. Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­]Copied! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [5000] Integers. You will be famous across mainland of China, for what you are currently doing. We will make you celebrity, and even better salary. Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­] Great work, Celebrity! Your social credit score has increased by [10000] Integers. Xi Jinping would like to meet you personally at Zhongnanhai to encourage your good work. I am sure you notice that you have gained lot of dislike recently. Do not worry. We will send re-education vans to make sure your figure is in good graces. Keep up the good work! [ δΈ­εŽδΊΊζ°‘ε…±ε’Œε›½ε―„θ―­]
October 2021

Wojak

───────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄ ────▄▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ──▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–Œ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β”€β”€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β”€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€ β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„
September 2018

Can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?

twitchquotes: reynad, everytime I watch you I start sweating, I believe this is because you have the power to harvest salt through my pores even through the internet, can you please stop making me sweat for more salt?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

salty

Reacting to content takes skill

twitchquotes: Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
twitch chat
December 2021
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