[Copypasta] Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Navy Seals Copypasta in Middle English

Bi God’s bons, hwat didest thou seien of min, thou litel cunte? Thou shalt knouen ich was gradūāten best in min classe in soldierie, and ich was in mani-fold skekeries on the Frenshe men, and I hawe more than thre hundred slaghs that ben verried. Ich am expertful in mancowe militaunce, and ich am the best longe-boue archer in all the Englisch hoste. Thou are nout to min but a newe marke. Ich wille thee sottili renden, semble-wise was neverte beholden; par fei! Thou think thou canst afforthe to speken that shite ouer the “Internet”? Think-agen, churl! as we speken nou, ich am spēking wit minen aspīeris in all of Engellonde, and thin estre bith spīen aboute noue, thus thou shalt fore-dighten before the storm, maddok! The storm that wille shenden that spītǒus frivōl thou namest “thine lif”. Thou art ded, childe. Ich can ben ought-wher, ought-tym, and ich can slen thou with ouer seven hundred methodes, and all bar-handed! Ich am not only expertful in bar-handed baratri, but ich haue infare to the pleine armurie of the host of engelonde, and ich wille emploien hit for slen thine spitous arse, mandrake mymmerkin. If only thou cǒuthest hauen knouen what unblessed pūnīciǒun thine littel “gleu” glose was about to cause, parchaunce thou hauen holden thine tǒng stille. But thou cǒuthest nout, thou didest nout, and now thou paien for hit, thou simpleton. Ich wille casten oute furour upon thee, and thou wille senchen in hit. Thou art utterly ded, mannikin.
February 2021

Navy Seal

FunPlus Pheonix logo

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⢡⣿⣧⣴⡶⠶⣦⣄⣀⣼⣿⡌⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠀⠉⢋⣽⣿⣇⠀⠹⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡟⣿⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣿⢻⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠁⠹⣇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠇⠀⣸⠏⢘⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠘⠧⠀⠠⡶⠤⠽⡿⢿⡿⣧⢤⣤⢼⡿⠿⢤⣶⡤⠤⠾⣧⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⠰⢶⡇⢸⡇⣿⢀⠻⢸⣿⡄⠈⢿⠃⢀⣾⣣⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣄⣀⣇⣸⣿⣇⣘⣁⣿⣸⣆⣸⣿⣿⡄⠀⢀⣾⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡏⣩⠉⡏⣿⣿⠉⣿⢹⠋⣭⣹⣿⣿⠃⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣤⣴⡇⠿⢿⠀⠿⢸⠗⠦⢸⣿⠃⢀⣾⡄⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠓⠛⠛⣳⡶⢞⡷⢒⡞⢳⠒⢾⠳⢶⣞⠛⠓⠒⠒⠛⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣋⣰⡏⠀⣼⠀⠘⣇⠀⢳⣄⣹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢶⣴⣿⠀⠀⣿⣤⡾⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH

twitchquotes: ⛏ ⛏ FeelsBadMan 💵 TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan 💵 TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan 💵 TIME TO MINE MORE MONEY FOR TWITCH ⛏ FeelsBadMan 💵
twitch chat
October 2017
TwitchPresents

YuGiOh Ad Marathon

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu.

twitchquotes: Trump. Amaz. MaSsan. Hafu. Long ago, the four Asians streamed together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the F O R S E N B O Y S attacked. Only Reynad, master of all four, could stop them, but when Twitch needed him most, he was too salty.
twitch chat
October 2014
Reynad
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