[Copypasta] So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. Itโ€™s not a story the CEO would tell you. Itโ€™s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seatsโ€ฆ He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulโ€ฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Kripp Fapparian

twitchquotes: After the execution of Cattarian, orchestrated by House Fapparian, Rania Cattarian of House Cattarian vowed to take revenge on her husband and the king of Twitcheros, Kripp Fapparian. Rania infiltrated Kripp's Landing to sprinkle PJSalt on Kripp's foodies during the royal streaming session. Kripp's last words were, "***, I'M NEVER LUCKY!"
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

T U C K F R U M P brofist edition

twitchquotes: โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ Hey F R U M P, here's a " T U C K " for you. โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Only the chosen one can wield this sword...

twitchquotes: ๐• |๐• ๐• ๐• |=========> ๐•†โ„•๐•ƒ๐• ๐•‹โ„๐”ผ โ„‚โ„๐•†๐•Š๐”ผโ„• ๐•†โ„•๐”ผ โ„‚๐”ธโ„• ๐•Ž๐•€๐”ผ๐•ƒ๐”ป ๐•‹โ„๐•€๐•Š ๐•Š๐•Ž๐•†โ„๐”ป ๐”ธโ„•๐”ป โ„•๐•†๐•‹ ๐”น๐”ผ ๐•Š๐•ƒ๐”ธ๐•€โ„• ๐”ฝ๐•†โ„ ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜๐•„๐•€โ„• ๐”น๐• ๐•€๐•‹'๐•Š โ„™๐•†๐•Ž๐”ผโ„. ๐”ธโ„๐”ผ ๐•๐•†๐•Œ ๐•‹โ„๐”ผ โ„‚โ„๐•†๐•Š๐”ผโ„• ๐•†โ„•๐”ผ? โ„‚๐•†โ„™๐• ๐•‹โ„๐•€๐•Š โ„™๐”ธ๐•Š๐•‹๐”ธ ๐”ธโ„•๐”ป ๐”ฝ๐•€โ„•๐”ป ๐•†๐•Œ๐•‹!
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp
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