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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeรฑo," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeรฑo." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.
Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp
twitchquotes:
helo my name is dongerino pasterino ใฝเผผเบูอเบเผฝ๏พ, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ) to young dongers.
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Riot Games
I wanna troll Reynard too
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How do I do the salt emote I wanna troll Reynard too
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Reynad
Omg imagine an xD spam in this font
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๐ธ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท "๐๐" ๐ผ๐น๐ช๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ญ๐ผ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ` ๐ต๐ฎ๐ต ๐ด๐ฎ๐ด
๐ธ๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท "๐๐" ๐ผ๐น๐ช๐ถ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ญ๐ผ ๐ช๐ผ ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ` ๐ต๐ฎ๐ต ๐ด๐ฎ๐ด
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