[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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December 2018
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โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ€โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃธโฃฟโฃฟโ ‹โ ‰โ นโฃฟโฃฟโก†โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โก€โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃคโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃ„โก™โขฟโกฟโฃฑโฃฟโฃฟโ ‹โฃ โฃคโฃคโฃคโฃคโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โข โฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ›โ ›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโขฃโฃพโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃ„โ „โข€โฃดโฃฎโฃโ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃญโฃ›โ „โ „โ „โฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ƒโ „โ „โ ˆโ ™โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ƒโ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโ ™โ ›โ ›โ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โขฐโกฟโ ›โ ฟโขธโก‡โข€โกพโ ›โฃฟโฃพโฃฟโ €โฃฟโขธโกโ ปโฃฆโขฐโกŸโขปโฃทโ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˜โ ฟโ ถโ Ÿโ ธโ ทโ †โ ปโ ถโ ฟโ ›โ ฟโ ถโ ฟโ ธโ ทโ พโ โ ˜โขทโฃพโ โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ พโ ‹โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
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July 2021

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICKโ€™S ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒฝ DAYโ€ผ๏ธ Time โฐโฐ to honor the DADDIES ๐Ÿ‘ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฌ of our nation ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ George SLUTsington ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏ, Benjamin SPANKlin๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘, John HanCOCK ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ These POUNDING ๐Ÿ”จโš’ fathers ERECTED โฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ their ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒfor LADY LIBERTY ๐Ÿ—ฝ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ™€ Raise that ASS ๐Ÿ‘ to ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ Abraham LinCUM ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ, ๐ŸŒฒ WOODrow Wilson ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€BarCOCK Obama ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ Donโ€™t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜ฉ DICKlared war ๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ on those CUMMIES ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’‚๐Ÿ’‚ Share in โ™‹๏ธ SUCKonds or you wonโ€™t be pounding ๐Ÿ”จthat presidential PUSSY ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back and ur a White House HOE ๐Ÿ  Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state ๐Ÿ“”๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ HAPPY JIZZIDENTโ€™S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
February 2024

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–€โ– โ–โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ– โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–€โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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November 2014

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
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June 2019
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