[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kill the chicken again

twitchquotes: K҉íl͞l͢ ̛t̀he̡ ͘c͢hic̕k͡en ̸agąin, ͘I̵ d͞a͟r̨e ̷y͏o̵u̸, I ͟ḑo̷ubl̶e d̕a҉re̡ ̢yo̵u ͜moth͡erf̴ucke̵r
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait

Mario Party Superstars Bowser Miss Sticker

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢟⣽⣿⢰⡝⣍⡻⣿⠟⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣊⡛⢍⣪⣥⣟⠗⢏⣼⣿⡟⢱⣮⠙⠛⠉⠠⣄⠀⠀⢧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⢈⡉⠉⠓⠲⠖⣻⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠶⠆⠈⢫⣎⡞⣩⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣭⣭⣝⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⢠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⢟⡜⠿⣜⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠇⢀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡆⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣮⠻⢛⣋⡵⠀⢆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡹⣽⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⣼⣿⣯⢉⠙⢿⣿⡇⡀⠻⠧⢀⣠⣤⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⢫⣮⣙⡻⠿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣦⢄⣴⣶⢦⣄⣴⣶⣿⣿⠧⡀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢁⣬⣾⡸⣿⣿⡎⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣆⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣄⠀⢀⢸⣿⡸⢿⣧⠻⡿⣎⠑⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣮⡛⠿⣿⣿⠇⠙⠛⠉⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠈⠛⠽⠆⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣝⣳⢲⡦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⡎⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡹⣂⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡛⠿⣿⡷⠏⣅⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣬⣭⣍⢻⡿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⡿⢷⣟⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡸⡟⡀⢻⡟⢻⡟⣛⣻⡟⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣇⢡⡇⢸⡇⢸⡗⠆⣹⡗⠆⣹⡗⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷

twitchquotes: 5Head Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷
twitch chat
July 2019

Privyet, Komrade Toast!

twitchquotes: Privyet, Komrade Toast! Is your cousin Dmitri from Mother Russia! I am of hearing that you make much moneys by playing simplistic chess game for toddlers and whining like little baby in front of thousands of simpletons! BLYAT! You should play game for REAL man like Counterstrike Go! Already I am recruit by man with enormous forehead for professional team Tampon Storm and will be winning many tournaments, yes! Don't be a cyka, you capitalist pig, and stop crying like baby! Love, Dmitri.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing