twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I was born with glass bones and paper skin
twitchquotes:
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.
twitch chat
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here
twitchquotes:
Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
twitch chat
imaqtpie
GUYS PLEASE HELP! I NEED HELP!
twitchquotes:
WHEN I SAT DOWN โฌ๏ธ TO PEE ๐ฆ THERE WAS A BUG ๐ IN THE TOILET ๐ฝ BUT I THOUGHT ๐ญ IT WAS DROWNED ๐๐ป โโโโ N WHEN I GOT UP โฌ๏ธ IT WASN'T โ THERE 
IM SOBBING ๐ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐ BUTTHOLE ๐โญ WHERE IS ITโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
IM SOBBING ๐ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐ BUTTHOLE ๐โญ WHERE IS ITโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
twitch chat