[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Old town road

twitchquotes: I got the horses🐴 in the back🔙 😌 Horse🐴 tack is attached👌 Hat 🤠is matte black👨🏿 Got the boots👢 that’s black👶🏿 to match🤝 Ridin’ on a horse🐴, ha🤣 You👨🏿🌾 can whip 😜👊your Porsche🚗 I been in the ⛰️valley⛰️👉👌 You ain’t 🙅♂️been up👆 off the porch🏠😴, now Can’t nobody tell🗣️ me🤠 nothin’❌
twitch chat
June 2019

Emoji Pasta

Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Unbench the kench

twitchquotes: UNROLL THE TADPOLE OSFrog UNCLOG THE FROG OSFrog UNLOAD THE TOAD OSFrog UNINHIBIT THE RIBBIT OSFrog UNSTICK THE LICK OSFrog UNIMPRISON THE AMPHIBIAN OSFrog UNMUTE THE NEWT OSFrog UNBENCH THE KENCH OSFrog PERMIT THE KERMIT OSFrog DEFOG THE POLLIWOG OSFrog
twitch chat
September 2015
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Never buy a keyboard off a chinese bidding website

twitchquotes: ᴺᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃ ᵏᵉʸᵇᵒᵃʳᵈ ᵒᶠᶠ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᶜʰᶦᶰᵉˢᵉ ᵇᶦᵈᵈᶦᶰᵍ ʷᵉᵇˢᶦᵗᵉ
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing