twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
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More Copypastas
I love you future self!
twitchquotes:
Hey youtube! 
It's me from the past! Remember when I wrote this and then it happened and now I'm watching this again on YouTube watching my message pass! I love you future self! 
It's me from the past! Remember when I wrote this and then it happened and now I'm watching this again on YouTube watching my message pass! I love you future self!
twitch chat
Reynad
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
WallStreetBets
Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
twitch chat
Kripp
I love seeing TRUMP lose
twitchquotes:
I love seeing TRUMP lose, it's my daily medicine, my weekly energy, my monthly inspiration and my yearly motivation. His loss is the only reason i'm still alive, i was born to love and enjoy the failure that he has achieved.
twitch chat
2020 US Election
EARN that starting position
twitchquotes:
It was a humid night, all the windows were open in the Cloud 9 house as Sneaky looked outside contemplating how to avoid the bench again. As he mused the door creaked open and Jack was there. Sneaky knew what had to be done as he got on his knees to fellate his boss. "Oh yea Sneaky, work that hard cock, EARN that starting position"
twitch chat
Sneaky