[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
Mobile game Mafia City ads were so cringey it's a new meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-how-mafia-works
I used to be a real ad
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Spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I'm here from Maple Story, just wanted to say that I can see why you were being a bunch of immature children in chat - seeing as you literally play a kids game. Honestly, it's just sad seeing you losers spam emotes every time Mario does his jump attack or whatever. Grow up!
twitch chat
January 2019

EVO

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Bear King Burry vs TSLA

Bear King Michael Burry in the ring, slappin TSLA with a metal chair. His glass eye open wide with rage as he batters TSLA relentlessly. "The valuation..." crunch "makes...." crunch "NO.... " crunch "SENSE!" he roars with maniacal autistic glee. TSLA struggles for the edge of the ring, but coughs blood as each hit lands, and eventually stops moving. Bear King Burry drops the chair. Bear King Burry turns to the crowd "Was this your champion!? Was TSLA supposed to be your chosen one!?" A child in the crowd turns his face into his mother's side and cries. On the side of the ring WSB can barely move. TSLA was supposed to tag them in, but couldn't make it to the side in time. "Get up TSLA" WSB whimpers hopelessly, a single tear rolling down their cheek. "Get up..." Bear King Burry turns to WSB "Now it is your portfolio's turn. Get in here you little bitch." "Excuse me." Someone replies from behind BKB. "I believe I can give you the fight you want." A robed figure is administering smelling salts to TSLA. The figure puts TSLA on its shoulder and carries TSLA gently out of the ring. "And just who the fuck do you think you are?" BKB rumbles ominously. BKB's fingers squeeze so tightly on the chair that metal bends. "Who am I?" the robed figure inquires. The robed figure stands straight and stretches to their full height. They must be at least 7' tall. The crowd stops crying and watches in stunned silence. "Who am I?" The figure repeats menacingly. The figure turns around to face BKB, ripping off his robe. A gleaming light fills the stadium. Before us stands a Golden deity, rippling with muscle. If there is an ounce of body fat it is currently in hiding, only to make way for seemingly endless coiled golden musculature. The figure looks directly into Bear King Burry's eyes. "I'm Goldman Sachs, and i'm here to kill you."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Darth Bearish the Regarded

Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"? I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you. It’s an ancient Bear legend. Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called. But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
June 2022

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

WallStreetBets

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