[Copypasta] Fortnite that's how Mafia works

twitchquotes: Fortnite. Fortnite. Fortnite. It was all my two kids talked about. They were utterly devoted to it. I had to make a change. I took the controllers and told them they couldn't play until they downloaded Mafia City. They whined and whined, but soon became engrossed in this amazing and educational game. Fortnite soon forgotten, their grades improved rapidly, much like their levels in game. The teachers were amazed, "how do they do it?" they asked me, I simply replied "that's how Mafia works."
twitch chat
January 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Putin v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣦⣤⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⣼⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡄⠄⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⢰⣦⡄⠀⠠⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢸⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣯⡀⠀⠠⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢺⠇⠀⣬⣶⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠀⠀⠈⢻⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠸⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣈⣽⣿⣶⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠘⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠐⠙⠛⠛⣩⣵⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣶⣄⣤⣤⣐⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠈⢹⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠈⢹⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
March 2022

Game on!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone! Google employee here. Looks like you guys are having a good time Kappa. Just a friendly reminder to link your Google+ account and avoid streaming any copyrighted material. Game on!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Albert Einstein and Arteezy's farm

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds to ever live, was once perplexed by the speed at which Arteezy was able to farm. Seemingly impossible GPMs of 800+ every game were consistently observed, leading to the hypothesis that this was no fluke. Einstein spent the last years of his life trying to prove the ability of Arteezy's farm existed within the laws of science. Critics laughed at his efforts, claiming that Arteezy's farm was an undeniable act of divine intervention. It wasn't until the end when Einstein found the answer. On his deathbed, Einstein spent the last seconds of his life jotting down what is now the world's most infamous scientific formula. r=tz²
twitch chat
November 2014
Arteezy

I'm a teacher but I'm treated like I'm a streamer

twitchquotes: I'm a teacher, middle school ages, we have a gaming club in our school. Most of the kids are vocal about watching Twitch, who their favorite streamers are and when playing games the would suggest who to watch to get better at a game, e.g. watch Hashinshin to improve at League etc. Now when the kids come to the gaming club they no longer ask about games, they all just chant 'Miss, get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out for the lads' or 'Miss, I'll pay you a dollar to show me your feet' or 'Miss, how much too see your butthole' or 'Miss, I'll gift 50 subs if you get your tits out now' or 'Miss, the lads need those big juicy milf titties out' or 'Miss, get your tits out or I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow'. It's getting a bit tiresome, will Twich Tv ever do anything about this epidemic?
twitch chat
April 2021

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

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