[Copypasta] Wanna buy some dongers?

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜├┬┴┬┴ Psst… Moderator, you wanna buy some dongers?
twitch chat
January 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Excited Homer Simpson

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠏⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣴⢶⣶⣿⣟⣶⣿⣭⠿⠦⠤⠽⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣿⢋⣠⣿⣿⡶⢻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠈⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢯⠋⠈⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠒⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⠀⢀⡀⠤⠤⠤⣀⣱⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢀⡴⠋⠉⢹⡶⠶⢤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢻⡜⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠶⠒⠒⠀⠐⣄⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⠟⠛⠓⠶⣏⠀⠀⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠷⠙⠲⠄⠀⡀⠠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡇⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠧⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠈⠙⠦⣀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠈⢢⡀⠠⢾⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢲⡶⡄⠀⢀⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀ ⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡴⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡷⢰⠃⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠ ⠙⢦⡀⠀⠈⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣠⠎⢀⣤⣾⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⣠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡰⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠳⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⡖⠋⢀⡤⠾⠿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠇⠙⢿⠷⠖⠒⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠯⡉⠉⠀⠀⡷⠶⠯⡁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⡧⠂⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⠈⠣⡴⠉⠡⡀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄⠀⢀⡴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣶⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⣄⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣎⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡤⠴⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ Nᴏsᴛʀᴏᴠʏᴀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Tʜɪs ɪs Cᴏᴍʀᴀᴅᴇ Sᴛᴀʟɪɴ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ 1952. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Pᴜʀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀᴍᴇ. I'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɴ ᴍʏ ɢᴜʟᴀɢs. Bᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ Rᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ Dᴇᴀᴅ ☭ ☭☭ ☭
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

TriHard v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠻⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⠏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⡇ ⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡇ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃ ⣇⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀ ⣿⣿⣤⣤⡄⠄⠄⣠⣬⣼⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⣿⣯⣔⣆⣠⣍⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⡉⡐⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣿⣀⣁⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⡀⢋⢩⣙⣛⣿⣿⡟⠉⠋⠛⠛⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⢼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡥⡠⢒⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣉⣛⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
June 2019

Pinkie Pie

▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓ ▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓ ▒▒░▐▌░▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒░░▌░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▀▀███░░░░▓▒▒▒▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░▌▄████▌░░░▓▒▒▒▓ ▒▒▒▒▒░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▒▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▒▒▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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