[Copypasta] not an weeb thing

twitchquotes: โ€˜not an weeb thingโ€™. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I declare with utter certainty that this one is in the bag

twitchquotes: ๏ผฆ๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผญ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผง๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผฌ๏ผน ๏ผฅ๏ผน๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฅ ๏ผฉ ๏ผฃ๏ผก๏ผฎ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฅ ๏ผด๏ผฏ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผฅ๏ผฎ๏ผค๏ผณ ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผฏ๏ผฒ๏ผฌ๏ผค๏ผŒ ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผค ๏ผฆ๏ผฒ๏ผฏ๏ผญ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผถ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผก๏ผง๏ผฅ ๏ผฐ๏ผฏ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผด ๏ผฉ ๏ผค๏ผฅ๏ผฃ๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผจ ๏ผต๏ผด๏ผด๏ผฅ๏ผฒ ๏ผฃ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผด๏ผก๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผด๏ผน ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผก๏ผด ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผข๏ผก๏ผง๏ผ
twitch chat
January 2015
DotADeMoN

Obama Not Bad

โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–Œ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ•โ•โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
July 2015

Elder Scrolls developer messages Kripp

twitchquotes: (The Elder Scrolls: Legendsโ„ข Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to wear your TES:L shirt and don't forget our little 'arrangement' later tonight at the motel. ;)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

AROOOOGA eyes pop out jaw drops

twitchquotes: Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
twitch chat
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing