twitchquotes:
โ
๐ป ๐ผ ๐ฝ ๐พ ๐ฟ ๐ซ Daily Airport Security Test! Can you pass? โ 
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff
twitchquotes:
Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
Kripp
salty
Not funny I didn't laugh
Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
Classic
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING ๐ฑ๐
Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff โบ๏ธ to my impostor body pillow, ๐ฑ but when I came, ๐ป I started floating, ๐ฑ and think I got teleported into the skeld. ๐ฎ I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.๐คค ๐ ๐ I immediately was transported back to earth, ๐ญ and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, ๐คช as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter ๐ช
โIM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTERโ
I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me ๐คค but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. ๐๐๐โน๏ธ
She then said I was going to a magical place called the โmental asylumโ 
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Iโm not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC ๐ฎ
Among Us / Amogus
I just lost my virginity and said Poggers
I just lost my virginity and said Poggers
Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said โ thatโs pretty pogโ he then broke up with me after we were done ๐
Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum
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Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
Kripp