[Copypasta] How Melee players describe Ultimate

twitchquotes: Smash community: ultimate is fun! Melee players (not part of smash community) : First time I got ultimate and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop a Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

I used to be a real ad
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ME NAIR ME NO CARE

twitchquotes: ME IKE ResidentSleeper ME NAIR ResidentSleeper YOU WANT FUN ResidentSleeper ME NO CARE ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Fox McCloud. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of defending my Melee Championship at EVO. People say to me that a person being Fox McCloud is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, Mishun Complete. I’m having Mango inject me with tech skill and mindgames. From now on I want you guys to call me “Fox” and respect my right to shine and upsmash. If you can’t accept me you’re a spaciephobe and need to check your tierlist privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
October 2016

Super Smash Bros

I sexually Identify as

Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

Program and Control Man

twitchquotes: We are all living in Pac-Man’s world. You know what Pac stands for? P.A.C Program and Control. He’s program and Control Man. The whole thing’s a metaphor. All he can do is consume. He’s pursued by demons that are probably just in his own mind.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

Super Smash Bros

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