[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
TwitchStocks.com is a new website where users can buy and sell streamer stocks using fake money
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Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza

The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
August 2021

An anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
twitch chat
September 2017

Daddy’s little tidepod

i'm daddies wittle tide pod hehe (ꈍ꒳ꈍ)i'm all squishy and wet for daddy! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ he loves how my bitter taste nuzzles his taste buds and my Botanical Raintm scent!!!! (。・ω・。)but he knows how im not meant to be eaten...(´･ω･`)waaah!!! dont eat all of me daddy(　；∀；) hehehe my soap-pussy is so wet >///< 1 lick 2 lick 3 lick 4... no more daddy i'll break~(●///▽///●) hehe i'm daddies wittle tide pod so wet and squishy =w=
September 2021

UwU

NSFW

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