[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

WHERE IS SODAPOPPIN?

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ PANTS ARE DOWN, DICK IS FLOPPIN, WHERE THE FUCK IS SODAPOPPIN ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
May 2019
sodapoppin

Stop the Rick and Morty copypastas

twitchquotes: Just shut the fuck up. This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit. Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns" .
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Canadian sex

twitchquotes: thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
November 2020

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing