[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
TwitchStocks.com is a new website where users can buy and sell streamer stocks using fake money
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Ban one bee, get the swarm

twitchquotes: bUrself ban bUrself one bUrself bee bUrself and bUrself you'll bUrself get bUrself the bUrself swarm bUrself
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Twitch is ruining my life!

PLEASE HELP!!! Recently my wife has introduced me to a streaming platform known as twitch. I got so into it I spent a full week only watching my favorite twitch streamers like pokimane and sukkuno. All was well until February 15th where I was having a very important presentation at my job. All eyes were on me when I instinctively said KEKW with a straight face and veins bulging through my neck; I burst out of the workplace so fast my shoes fell off and I slammed into my car so hard I created a sonic boost in the wind and cried to myself saying sadCHAMP. Last Saturday was my grandmas funeral and guess WHAT? I SAID F IN THE CHAT GIVING MY MEMORIAL SPEECH. ARRRGGHHHH I HATE TWITCHC ITS RUINING MY LIFE!!!!1!!1!
March 2022

Where can I go to find some high octane gaming?

twitchquotes: So I says to my friend, I says, "Where can I go to find some high octane gaming?". He replies, "You should check out MoonMoon on Twitch. He go hard". I come watch this stream only to find medium octane gaming. What a grotasque, lecherous hag my friend is.
twitch chat
January 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

My Grandfather smoked his whole life

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
March 2021

Classic

Copy and paste or get vaped

twitchquotes: VapeNation hello my name is Ethan i died Ripping a fat vape 10 years ago unless u send this to copy and paste this 10 times i will come show up in your room tonight and Rip fat clouds every night you have seven min to post it or else. VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016

VapeNation

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