[Copypasta] 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks

twitchquotes: 4 people broke into my house and held me hostage last night. Somehow they've heard I hold 80 billion dollars in twitch stocks and wanted me to withdraw it to a specific bank account. I had to explain for 2 hours how it's all fake money and that I've spent almost a week trading fake stocks just to gain nothing. They ended up calling me a fucking loser and left..
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS

twitchquotes: ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ·︻̷┻̿═━一I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS
twitch chat
January 2015
strifecro

FeelsBirthdayMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣦⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣟⣻⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡟⠛⣿⣤⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣤⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡶⠛⠛⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣣⣤⣤⣼⣶⣤⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣛⣭⣭⣭⣝⣋⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣟⠽⣒⣒⣒⣺⠝⢛⠭⣍⣛⣻⡯⠤⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⠿⢖⣛⡭⢝⠛⠻⣯⢙⣭⣭⠋⠄⡀⢺⡭ ⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣗⣒⣤⣴⣬⣔⣢⣾⣶⣭⣤⣥⣶⠖⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣥⣄⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣷⣮⣝⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣛⠿⣭⣽⣛⠳⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢗⣚⣛⠛⠄ ⠘⡻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣿⣛⡛⠛⠋⠄⠄ ⣼⣶⣯⣴⣚⠭⠭⣽⣿⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⢏⡉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Zamn She's 12?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⢶⣲⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣷⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣼⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢛⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠺⠏⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⣀⠉⡣⣤⠤⢤⣶⠔⡋⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⢃⣄⠀⠀⠐⠁⣀⣘⠽⠁⠀⠸⡗⡁⠛⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠄⠈⣃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢮⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠎⠐⠦⣀⣀⣤⣴⣆⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⠏⡆⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠩⢼⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠆⢻⣿⣄⡀⢰⡿⣡⣦⣉⣉⠉⢉⣹⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣟⢿⡏⠏⠈⠉⠉⠉⠘⢸⣳⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⢻⣿⣻⣿⡇⢘⡀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⣿⡅⢸⣿⡿⣟⣥⠀⢷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠰⡆⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⡇⣸⡥⡇⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣀⣀⡠⠈⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣻⡇⣿⣿⡇⣿⢏⣻⣿⣦⡠⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⣉⣪⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⡰⠷⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣇ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡿⣏⠏⠁⢠⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣛⣚⣒⣀⣧⣿⠀⠀⠘⣧⠾⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏ ⣿⣿⡿⡟⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗ ⣿⣇⣿⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⣠⠀⢠⡀⣠⠀⣄⠀⣆⠀⣄⡢⠐⣴⠆⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⣷⢻⠀⠀⣀⠉⢸⠒⢣⢸⠈⠈⡆⠇⠑⠻⠀⠀⢤⣤⠄⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣾⣿⢸⠀⠀⠉⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⡗ ⣿⣿⣾⣐⢠⣤⣤⠤⠤⠶⠶⣶⣖⣒⣚⣛⣻⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣛⣋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟
November 2021

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985
Text-to-Speech Playing