twitchquotes:
It starts with a surge of adrenaline. Signals flood the nervous system. Pupils race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Then open. Now itโs up to you to decide what to do with it.
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I used to be a real ad
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I want to fuck myself!
Now before you guys assume, i am not gay. I was messing around with a selfie of myself on faceapp and decided to use the female filter. As soon as i clicked the icon, my life was changed forever. Those lusious lips, the well defined jawline, the adorable eyes and those perfect eyebrows instantly gave me a hard on. Before i knew it, i was stroking my cock faster than i had ever before. Within 2 minutss i had already cummed 5 times coating my whole bed with a layer of semen and my balls were drier than the shaharan desert. Could any of you nerds please find a way to bring my waifu to lifue. Thanks uWu.
69 is very funny.
Haha 69. It's funny because 69ing, or doing 69, is sharing oral sex with your partner; in other words, itโs giving and receiving oral sex at the same time.
Oral sex is when people use their mouths to stimulate another personโs genitals.
Oral sex on a woman is called โcunnilingus.โ On a man itโs called โfellatio.โ Anyone โ girl or guy โ can give or receive oral sex as long as she or he is comfortable with it and wants to engage in in oral sex.
Oral sex cannot cause pregnancy. But it can pass on infections, whether the person is giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, human papilloma virus (HPV), herpes, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Oral sex is generally less risky for these infections than unprotected vaginal or anal sex, but there is still some risk.
Using a barrier can reduce the risks. For safer oral sex, use a condom to cover the penis, or a Sheer Glyde dam, cut-open condom, or plastic wrap to cover the vulva or anus.
In reference to the sex position, "69" has become an internet meme, where users will respond to any occurrence of the number with the word "nice" and draw specific attention to it. This means to sarcastically imply that the reference to the sex position was intentional. Because of its association with the sex position and resulting meme, "69" has become known as "the sex number" in certain communities.
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what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
OMG you're so FUNNY so quirky
๐๐OMG ๐ youโre so FUNNY ๐คฃ ๐คฃ so quirky ๐๐ ๐คช so different ๐คฉabsolute crackhead energy ๐คช๐คช comedic genius๐ง ๐ I literally canโt โ breathe ๐ญ iโm crying dude ๐ญ๐ญ that was so hilarious ๐ u really got the whole squad laughing ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐งโ๐ฆ๐๐ฉโ๐ฉโ๐ฆโ๐ฆ๐๐จโ๐จโ๐งโ๐ฆ high IQ comedy ๐ง ๐ง howโd you come up with that ๐ง๐ really original work ๐ never seen ๐ or heard ๐ anything like that before ๐ ๐ ๐ great ๐ job ๐๐ keep up the funnies ๐๐คฃ๐ i love you ๐ ๐ youโre my inspiration ๐คฉ๐คฉ๐คฉ if only i were as funny ๐ or smart ๐ค or cool ๐ as you ๐ but its whatever Iโll continue to watch ๐๐๐ your content ๐ฅ๐คณ because it โNEVER EVERโ fails to make me laugh ๐๐ thank you ๐ for existing ๐ and doing what you do โค๏ธโค๏ธ
Emoji Pasta
AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS
โผ๏ธโผ๏ธHOLY FUCKING ๐๐ฆ SHITโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธโผ๏ธ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ๐ฉ๐ AMONG ๐ฐ US ๐บ๐ธ REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1 ๐ฑ! ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ AMONG ๐๐จโโค๏ธโ๐จ๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐ฉ US ๐จ IS THE BEST ๐๐ฏ FUCKING ๐ฆ๐๐ GAME ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ 
๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐
พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR 
CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think 
it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐
๐ด IS SO SUSSSSS ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ต๏ธ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ COME ๐ฆ๐๐โโ๏ธ TO MEDBAY AND WATCH ๐ ME SCAN ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WHY ๐ก๐ค IS NO โ ๐ซ ONE 1๏ธโฃ FIXING ๐พ O2 ๐
พ ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก๐คฌ๐คฌ๐ก OH ๐ YOUR CREWMATE? NAME ๐ EVERY ๐ฏ TASK ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ ๐ซ๐ Where Any sus!โ โ Where!โ โ Where! Any sus!โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ โ โ Where!Where!Where! Any sus!Where!Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐ Where!โ Where! โ Where!Any susโ โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Any sus ๐๐ณ๏ธโ๐! โ โ Where!โ Any sus ๐ฆ! โ โ Where!โ โ Where! โ Where!Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ Any sus!โ โ โ โ Where! โ Where! Where!Any sus!Where! Where! โ โ โ โ โ โ I ๐ฅ think it was purple!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐It wasnt me I ๐ was in vents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐