twitchquotes:
It starts with a surge of adrenaline. Signals flood the nervous system. Pupils race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Then open. Now it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
COVID
Coronavirus
Hey Nairo this is your cat
twitchquotes:
Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub 
twitch chat
NairoMK
Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre
let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
Ben Shapiro
I fucking hate gaming laptops
I fucking hate gaming laptops.
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
CoolCat
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⡏⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣇⢋⠟⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢧⣤⣀⣀⠀
⢠⡖⠉⠴⢾⣿⡿⠋⠐⠈⢹⣿⣇⠢⡎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇
⢸⠁⠀⣃⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀
⠈⡇⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢰⡀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⣠⣔⣶⠀⢀⡘⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⢿⡆⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠐⠲⠶⠒⠋⠁⢾⡎⠻⠉⠡⠾⠋⣀⡈⠙⢒⣒⠠⠤⣤⣖⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡀⠀⢋⠉⠀⠁⠀⠐⠐⠲⣶⣶⣿⠧⠁⢀⠶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⣙⢿⣷⣼⣛⠿⡷⠶⢶⣶⡾⢟⡋⢅⠀⠀⠀⢈⣁⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⢀⢀⣠⣿⣿⣯⣭⣽⣿⡿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣯⣧⡨⣮⡶⡤⠢⠽⠽⠿⣿⣿⣷⣿
⠀⠀⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣤⠉⢹⣯⣿⣜⣟⠊⠁⠀⣰⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⢼⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⡿⡵⣴⡌⠋⡟⠿⠎⡓⠞⠏⠙⠉⣉⣄⣼⣶