[Copypasta] Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
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March 2019
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Dude, your donger is showing!

twitchquotes: (Κ˜α—©Κ˜') Dude, your donger is showing (Κ˜α—©Κ˜')
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October 2014
Kripp

Chocolate Rain Copypasta

twitchquotes: γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ο½€γƒ½ο½€γ€γƒ½γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ chocolate rain γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰ ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ、ヽヽ`ヽ
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February 2015
TayZondayGames

Things escalated from there

twitchquotes: I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
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July 2018

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯ you β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯β™₯!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

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