[Copypasta] You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activate————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2019
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Brofist and crofist

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life

twitchquotes: Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life. My mommy tells me to man up. My daddy disowned me. All the kids pick on me at school and push me over. Even my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't play Draven. Tyler could you please mod me so I may ban people randomly in your chat to be alpha :)
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

Soju special starter kit

Soju special stater kit ✔ already won the game ✔ This lobby’s playing for second ✔ This is my last loss ✔ I win out from here ✔ My board is too lit ✔ HP is fake ✔ I’m about to spike hard ✔ That’s a fake loss ✔ 20hp? That’s 3 lives ✔ This game is over ✔ We win out ✔ We're actually scaling ✔ last loss ✔ it's a fast 9 ✔ going eif
July 2022
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Hello Reynad, this is your Mother

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad, this is your Mother. I heard earlier that you are going out with this new boy. I am very concerned. I dont like that Bro-Fister Kripp and I dont think you should hang out with him anymore. Whatever happened to that Tides boy? He had the nicest smile. Please copy paste this message so that my daughter can see this. -.--.-
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

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