twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens
twitchquotes:
Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
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Kripp
Spooky story
twitchquotes:
One day there was Man. He wake up in night time like 3 or 4 am in the morning, Much sweat from nightmare of skeletons!! He turns on his computer and waited for the screen to load. "I will watch Kripparrian to calm my fears" he Mumbled. As he click the URL the stream loads... but there is only skeletons... Plz no creepy pasta this spooky story
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Kripp
Under the sea
twitchquotes:
🎵Under the sea🎵 🎵Under the sea🎵 🧜Darling it's better 
Down where it's wetter 🌊 Take it from 🦀me 😍 Up 
on the 🏖 shore they 👔work all day😅 Out in the 🌞sun they slave away 💦While we devotin' 🐠 Full time to floatin 🏊🏽 🎵Under the sea🎵
Down where it's wetter 🌊 Take it from 🦀me 😍 Up on the 🏖 shore they 👔work all day😅 Out in the 🌞sun they slave away 💦While we devotin' 🐠 Full time to floatin 🏊🏽 🎵Under the sea🎵
twitch chat
How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Unimpressed Squidward
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