twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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I used to be a real ad
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Identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as an FIM-92 Stinger anti-aircraft missile. My sole erotic fantasy is to explode inside an attack helicopter with such force that their physical vessel is utterly consumed by the intensity of my fiery passion.
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I sexually Identify as
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!
twitchquotes:
IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER! ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ████████████]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... █████████████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable ☪I could never delete you Brother!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Mujahideen👪 who would give their lives for ﷲAllahﷲ Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you 🚫†✡🚫 3 back: you're off the martyr list☁️💦 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatly☪💦 10+ back: JANAHﷲ!ﷲ!💕💕☪👅👅
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Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.
Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
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Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name
twitchquotes:
Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
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Kripp