twitchquotes:
I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
your streams lately have really helped me
twitchquotes:
hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
β’ β A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
β’ β A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
β’ β They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
β’ β One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
β’ β The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
β’ β The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
β’ β The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
β’ β The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
β’ β During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
GROUP HUG
twitchquotes:
\BibleThump/\BibleThump/ *GROUP HUG* \BibleThump/\BibleThump/ *GROUP HUG* \BibleThump/\BibleThump/
twitch chat
Reynad
One off lethal
twitchquotes:
Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But itβs too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. βOne off lethal,β Rania sobs.
twitch chat
Kripp
Help Doge Take Over Steam
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ Help
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Doge
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Take
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Over
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Steam
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Copy
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ And
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ Paste
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββDO IT.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ