[Copypasta] Copypasta being funny is just incomprehensible

twitchquotes: I always thought comedy was something I could never lose my grasp on, but "Copypasta" being funny to anybody is just incomprehensible.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My friend Kappa needs your help

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Keepo and I want to ask you something. My friend Kappa needs your help. He wants to find some more Kappa friends. So please, spam Kappa as much as possible in the chat, so that my friend Kappa could find more of his Kappa friends. It makes a big difference, thank you!
twitch chat
August 2014
Pokimane

Pickle Rick

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡄⠒⠪⢝⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⢉⡀⠀⠈⠐⠄⢿⣿⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⡄⠤⢀⠈⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣿⣟⣕⡤⡠⠘⠀⠀⠀⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣾⣿⣞⣄⠮⠔⠈⡢⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢿⣿⢽⡻⣿⣿⣿⣽⣵⣾⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣗⣿⡟⠈⠉⠚⢽⣻⢷⡝⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⣯⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢞⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢿⣿⣿⣯⡶⠁⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣼⣟⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣾⣿⣿⡯⣿⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠛⠀⠈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣿⣿⡭⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠐⠤⢀⡀⠀⢀⣙⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021

Rick and Morty

Fancy LUL

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ LUL       LUL    LUL    LUL       LUL       LUL    LUL    LUL       LUL       LUL    LUL    LUL       LUL LUL    LUL LUL LUL    LUL LUL    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
June 2016
Forsen

We require you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing