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[Copypasta]Twitch chat isn’t that dumb
twitchquotes:Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
Twitch chat isn’t that dumb. They don’t just copy paste anything. Believe it or not, most people in chat have functioning brains. Watch, no one in chat will repost this message.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Obi Wan Shapiro
Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 4, Finale 1)
When I went to work the next day, I immediately ran to the elevator. I already saw Chad running towards me but it was already closed when he got to the elevator. It was travelling to my boss' office. When I got up I ran at him and kicked him out the window."You are s u s ." I said as I watched him fall out. His body splat on the pavement and was ran over by multiple cars below. I caused a traffic jam.I went back into the elevator and went to floor 5. I ran down the hall in the naruto run, you know the funny naruto run from anime? And I got on the intercom or whatever that shit is called."All crewmembers of the ship, please report to the bottom floor for an emergency meeting." I naruto ran down the stairs to the bottom floor. I stood on the table in the middle of the office and stomped."I HAVE CALLED AN EMERGENCY MEETING! THE BOSS IS DEAD! THE IMPOSTER KILLED HIM! WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO THE IMPOSTER IS! Everyone was yelling at me to stop. But I wasn't gonna stop until I killed everyone here as the imposter.
When I went to work the next day, I immediately ran to the elevator. I already saw Chad running towards me but it was already closed when he got to the elevator. It was travelling to my boss' office. When I got up I ran at him and kicked him out the window."You are s u s ." I said as I watched him fall out. His body splat on the pavement and was ran over by multiple cars below. I caused a traffic jam.I went back into the elevator and went to floor 5. I ran down the hall in the naruto run, you know the funny naruto run from anime? And I got on the intercom or whatever that shit is called."All crewmembers of the ship, please report to the bottom floor for an emergency meeting." I naruto ran down the stairs to the bottom floor. I stood on the table in the middle of the office and stomped."I HAVE CALLED AN EMERGENCY MEETING! THE BOSS IS DEAD! THE IMPOSTER KILLED HIM! WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO THE IMPOSTER IS! Everyone was yelling at me to stop. But I wasn't gonna stop until I killed everyone here as the imposter.
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
Lying about service dogs
I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs