[Copypasta] Press CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The Twitch Anti-Bot Algorithm(TM) has detected you may be a bot. Please press the A key on your keyboard and then press the key combo CTRL + W to prove you are not a bot.————————————————————————
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, it's Andy from middle school, the kid you bullied for 3 years. After I got transferred to another school I had huge self-esteem issues and never made any friends. I turned to league of legends, the only game that made me feel special at silver elo but when I found out you're the top league streamer I got flashbacks from when you bullied me. There is no justice in this world. I am going to end it all now I hope you are happy..
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Old WeirdChamp

⡈⠉⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⡀ ⠄⢀⣤⠛⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣥⣾⣯⣭⣭⣽⣇⢻⣿⢻⣿⡇ ⠄⠈⠁⡐⡄⠋⠉⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣻⡛⠫⠿⠿⠿⠿⠸⢋⣿⢟⡇ ⠄⠠⡆⡇⠈⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠄⠛⠃⠄⣐⡟⠓⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠉⣼⡇ ⠆⠄⣭⠁⠱⢝⡋⠠⠄⠄⢴⣒⣉⣀⡀⣓⣶⣶⠆⠄⠘⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠄⣿⡇ ⡔⠄⣿⣿⡇⢙⣛⣒⠒⢒⣊⣩⣩⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⢸⡷⣲⣾⣅⠒⢁⣠⣍⣤⠿⠇ ⠄⢀⠟⢻⣿⣵⣦⣤⣬⣤⣤⣴⣿⠋⠄⣼⣿⣿⠈⢰⣄⠚⠒⠤⠤⢔⣻⣿⡒⠄ ⠄⠈⠄⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣀⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⢿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣍⣁⠄⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣦⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣁⠚⠿⣿⢠⠿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡷⠄ ⡆⠄⠄⠰⡫⠏⠷⠋⢀⣾⢿⡳⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣦⡙⠟⣿⣟⣿⡏⢃⣰ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⠄⡶⠊⣇⡈⣥⣭⣽⡆⠄⠄⠲⣤⣈⢋⡿⣷⠄⢱⠖⠛⢱⣼⣿ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠚⠉⠭⠭⠍⠻⠯⡭⠭⣟⡳⠆⣿⡇⣼⠺⠱⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⣵⡈⣹⡷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⣒⣖⣒⡒⠒⣒⢠⣶⣦⡉⣶⡗⢱⠇⣼⣿⣿ ⡿⢠⠄⠘⢣⠈⠄⢻⣬⡘⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠊⠄⠚⠏⣐⣵⠛⠁⢊⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢹⣧⠄⠈⢃⠄⠄⠘⢛⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣬⢹⠟⢿⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Mocking SpongeBob

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠔⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠄⠈⢊⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠈⠍⡅⠆⠪⠄⣀⣀⡠⣀⣀⣠⡤⣀⡠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣮⠲⣿⠿⠦⣠⣴⣿⠘⣻⣧⣤⡠⠛⠛⢄⠐⠑⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⠵⠧⠟⠬⠭⣵⣶⣿⣻⡿⠠⠭⠝⣻⡥⠔⠪⡙⢠⣶⡕⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢘⠟⣗⣠⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⡐⢫⣉⡍⠂⠀⣋⢿⣿⠏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠧⣫⣄⠀⠉⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠀⢀⣤⡑⡀⠻⣢⠀⣶⠈⣆⠔⠒⠲⠕⡇⣇⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢃⠻⠗⠀⢀⠌⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠘⠿⡣⠁⠀⡇⠓⠙⣁⠃⠀⠀⡠⠃⢡⣞⢳⡑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠲⣒⠥⠊⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠭⠑⠊⠆⡔⠘⢢⢹⣿⡤⠔⣾⣿⢿⡘⠖⣱⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⣀⣠⠔⠁⡆⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢌⡍⠚⣾⢌⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡠⣾⠿⠛⣋⣉⠭⠄⠀⢴⣿⠿⠆⠀⠸⣀⡒⢪⢌⠀⢹⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⢀⠊⠭⠔⠚⠭⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠀⠀⣘⣂⠾⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⣿⢻⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣮⣮⢄⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⣆⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠨⣽⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing