[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Day 1 on Kripp's stream the spam is strong

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º ༽Day1 on kripps stream the spam is strong, ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノDay2 on kripps stream this feeling is wrong, ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨Day3 on kripps stream i've learnt to accept, (§ ͠° ل͜ °)§Day4 on kripps stream my virginity may you accept.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Patrick Star

───────────────▄████████▄──────── ──────────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██─────── ─────────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██─────── ────────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██─────── ───────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▀──────── ──────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██───────── ─────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██───────── ────────██▒████▒████▒▒██───────── ────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██───────── ────────██▒────▒▒────▒██───────── ────────██▒─██─▒▒─██─▒██───────── ────────██▒────▒▒────▒██───────── ────────██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██───────── ───────██▒▒█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▒▒▒▒██─────── ─────██▒▒▒▒▒█▄▄▄▄▄█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██───── ───██▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒██─── ─██▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒██─ █▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒█ █▒▒████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▒▒█ ▀████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▀ ──█▌▌▌▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌▌▌███── ───█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█──── ───█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█──── ────▀█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌██▀───── ─────█▌▌▌▌▌▌████████▌▌▌▌▌██────── ──────██▒▒██────────██▒▒██─────── ──────▀████▀────────▀████▀───────
July 2015

Tragedy of Angela “Mercy” Ziegler the Healer

twitchquotes: I thought not. It's not a story the Blizzard Devs would tell you. It's an Overwatch legend. Angela Ziegler was the main healer of Overwatch, so powerful and so skilled she could use her rapid healing to influence the human body to create life... She had such a knowledge of healing that she could even keep the ones she cared about from dying. The Zürich PHD is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing her power, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught Jeff Kaplan everything she knew, then her developers nerfed her in her sleep. Ironic, she could save others from death, but not herself.
twitch chat
February 2018

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Can someone here add me on Transformice?

twitchquotes: Can someone here add me on Transformice? But it has to be later, my mom broke my PC hahaha. If boys want to add me just send a happy face, for girls that wants to befriends with me: send a foot pic. FrankerZ
twitch chat
May 2019

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing