[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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More Copypastas

Please use the code Tempo to save 3% off...

twitchquotes: BibleThump Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

sellout

Dont mind me just turning it to gold

twitchquotes: GivePLZ TBCheesePull Kappa TBCheesePull TakeNRG Dont mind me just turning it to gold
twitch chat
April 2017

I'm a 13 year old atheist

twitchquotes: I'm a 13 year old atheist and it's funny seeing the 'minds' in twitch chat entertained by a children's videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots "Pog Champ" or "OMEGA LUL", I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
twitch chat
April 2018

My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the RNG, General of the ◥█̆◤ Legions, loyal servant to the true Shaman Kripparrian. Buff to a ◥█̆◤ son, and buff to a ◥█̆◤ wife. I will make all totems mighty, whether in this game or the next. <:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Poop

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June 2016
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing