[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

We don’t have any words

twitchquotes: We don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them. We understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – we get it. This isn’t the ending we imagined, and certainly not the one we wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
twitch chat
April 2019

WeirdChamp

⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠄⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠉⢣⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⡋⠉⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⡀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣆⣾⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣛⣛⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⢶⣦⣦⠄⣀⣽⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀ ⡇⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠉⠉⠙⠋⢉⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣿ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⠄⠾⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⢿⣆⠄⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠁⠈⠙⠩⠿⠍⠙⠻⠄⠉⣰⣿⡿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣋⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣟⣁⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣟⠍⢍⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2019

Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me?

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper HUH k ResidentSleeper I'm really strong right now ResidentSleeper Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me? What the fuck ResidentSleeper We played that so bad ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

It's me Tanner from High School

twitchquotes: It's me Tanner from High School. I'm sorry for bulling you in class. Now I'm trying to be a better person and make amends. Please accept my apology. I am on the 12 steps program and trying to recover from alcoholism since I was diagnosed with a rare disease called ligma Just kidding nerd!! I'm gonna keep slapping Veronica's ass and driving around in my Dodge Charger. I gotta go to the gym. Good talk!
twitch chat
June 2019

Tanner from High School

Unless someone will DM me some feet pics

twitchquotes: Dear strimmer, I was thinking a lot lately about my life and my recent activity on twitch. thing is only thing that keep me in life at the moment are cute young female skimpy dressed streamers. Just wanted to tell that this is one of my last days on this already overpopulated planet. Unless someone will DM me some feet pics, those could keep me alive for a while Kappa
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing