[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

VIRGIN CHECK Pokimane emote

twitchquotes: VIRGIN CHECK monkaS 👉 pokiW I'm safe PogU
twitch chat
March 2019
Pokimane

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Smash Ball

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣴⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣾⢟⢁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢟⣿⣿⣾⠟⠁⠀⣠⣾⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣼⣧⠀⢺⣿⣿⡃⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⣼⠅⣠⣿⡗⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣧⣠⣾⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿⣡⢀⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣀⣤⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣤⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣼⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡉⢀⣀⣤⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠄ ⢻⣿⣧⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⡁⠀ ⠈⢻⣿⡍⠉⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣥⣶⡾⢟⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⢨⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⣤⡾⠯⠁⠀
August 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing