[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito

twitchquotes: The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. KappaPride
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twitchquotes: I got timed out for 525 seconds for typing hahaha, In this time I realized that twitch originated from Nazi Germany and thus I grew the most manly pubic hair in my entire life and ate it to sooth my pains. Please no copy seig heil pasta
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twitchquotes: This is Gambit ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º( ͡° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ 5 MEN 9 EYEBROWS 1 DREAM
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Classic

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valorant is a child game

twitchquotes: valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism
twitch chat
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SPAM HORSE TO HELP SEBASTIAN FORS

twitchquotes: 🐎 SPAM 🐎 THIS 🐎 HORSE 🐎 TO 🐎 HELP 🐎 SEBASTIAN 🐎 FORS
twitch chat
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Forsen

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Text-to-Speech Playing