[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Please remove Leifman's mod status

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, it has come to my attention that one of your mods "Leifman" has been abusing his authority as mod and banning people for no good reason. I would appreciate if you took some time out of your schedule to take action and remove his mod status. Thank you!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. It's Seppuku or Harakiri.

twitchquotes: I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Nihongo (Japanese for you gaijin), and I’ve been involved in numerous study abroad trips to Japan, and I have memorized over 300 kanji characters. You need to learn that the correct term for ritual suicide is Seppuku or Harakiri. It's NOT Sudoku or Subaru. Please educate yourselves.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 11

⡿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⣋⣵⣮⠇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠋⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣯⣾⣿⡿⣳⡟⣰⣿⣠⣂⡀⢀⠄⢸⡄⠄⢀⣈⢆⣱⣤⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡟⣹⡿⣸⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣾⢻⣆⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣀⣤ ⠄⠄⣼⡟⣿⠏⢀⣿⣇⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠋ ⡆⣸⡟⣼⣯⠏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠸⠁⢹⡿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⡇⡟⣸⢟⣫⡅⣶⢆⡶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣛⠃⠰⠆⠈⠁⠈⠙⠈⠻⣿⢹⡏⠄ ⣧⣱⡷⣱⠿⠟⠛⠼⣇⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠈⠄⠄ ⡏⡟⢑⠃⡠⠂⠄⠄⠈⣾⢻⣿⣿⡿⡹⡳⠋⠉⠁⠉⠙⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄ ⡇⠁⢈⢰⡇⠄⠄⡙⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣱⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠈⢰⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⠴⣄⣡⢄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡇⢀⠄⠤⠈⠁⣠⣠⣸⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣷⣬⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣟⢷⡶⢗⡰⣿⣿⠇⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⡟⢀⠃⠄⢸⡄⠁⣸ ⣿⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢄⡆⠄⢀⣪⡆⠄⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣟⣻⣩⣾⣃⣴⣿⣿⡇⠸⢾
January 2020

Weebs

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

Please fortnite i really Like big boob

Please fortnite i really Like big boob Like it would Be big and Add sex so i can Sex th e skin And Feet is Sex too Can there be special emote for big boo skin where is will Take off cloth And show be Feet and I will be like mmm Sex so much I feet Yes! Plaese
April 2021

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing