[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Puck the Folice

twitchquotes: ლ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ლ༽ Puck The Folice ლ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ლ༽
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: ‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

Indian Zven

Jagjeevan "Zven" Shirishkumar is a LoL professional player playing for Chakla 9 (C9) in the Indian Sub-league. He currently works as a tea farmer in Mahasamund. He aspires to be an electrical engineer in Chennai.
August 2021
C9Zven

League of Legends

I love ketchup so much

I enjoy ketchup more than the average person. Made with tomatoes and vinegar, this ubiquitous red sauce is my condiment of choice for a wide variety of dining situations. Sweet and tangy, it's perfect for eating with french fries and burgers, of course, but you might not realize how good it is incorporated into other dishes. Its unique sweet and savory nature makes it a bit of a dynamo that way. No wonder this addictive table staple of households and restaurants is so beloved.
April 2022

George Orwell ruined my life

January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing