[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

It can only be described as a Twisting Nether

twitchquotes: I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

BibleThump

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⡿⠟⡋⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣾⣿⣷⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣇⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⢀⣼⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣄⠙⠛⠁⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⢁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠈⢹⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⡗⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⡀⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2020

It is physically impossible to simp for pokimane

twitchquotes: Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy. A man is only a simp if the girl he is after has a mediocre pussy, but pokimane’s pussy is a goddess pussy, at worst. I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck to pokimane because I know that it’s not simping. Poki if you see this I love you please text me back.
twitch chat
May 2020
Pokimane

Simps

Another crewmate with a dick

April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing