[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
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August 2017

乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口 which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
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January 2018

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. “Are you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. “Soon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they halt—the alternation feature broken—on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a time—hours?—you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Guys please be careful before posting

twitchquotes: Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted :D
twitch chat
February 2020

pepegaClown

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠒⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠉⠐⠠⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠔⠊⡽⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡤⠊⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡃⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⣀⠄⠄⢋⣭⣭⠭⣶⣬⡛⢋⣴⠟⣣⣬⣍⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣨⣭⣶⢋⣩⣶⣿⣶⠶⣦⡈⠁⣾⣿⠄⠄⠱⡄⠄ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡹⣿⣿⠁⢀⢸⣿⡄⢻⣿⣇⠄⢃⡿⠄ ⠄⠈⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⡇⠄⠋⣸⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⢉⠥⠖⠁ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣫⣔⣒⠻⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡘⠷⣭⣭⣭⡭⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣵⣾⡧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡟⣍⠻⣷⣜⡻⠿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣦⣀⠄⢀⣠⡿⢟⣋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣧⡹⢿⣮⣙⡻⠷⢦⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⠭⢖⣚⡍⠁⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⢷⣤⣀⠄⠙⠛⠷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⡍⠉⠁⠄⠄⢀⠰⠛⠄⠄⠄ ⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⡻⠷⠶⢤⣤⣬⣭⣭⡭⠥⢤⣤⡤⠶⣊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⠻⠿⠿⢟⡻⠐⢃⠒⢥⣤⣄⢤⠠⢈⠂⣵⣶⣾⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠂⠴⢞⠒⠒⡸⠐⢬⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄
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October 2021

Pepe

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