[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

OURcraft?!?!?

Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?😂😂 I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! 🤣🤣😂🤢😂😢😜 Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? 😁🤣😂😆🤮🤣🤣😂 Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! 😁😁😁😁😁 Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! 🤣🤣🤗😅😆😂🤢😁😄😫🤯😅🤣🤣🤣 Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
December 2020

Emoji Pasta

Doublelift Pony Roleplay Minecraft server

twitchquotes: hey, Doublelift! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft 🌈, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on we'll make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse cock" like you requested but we'll work on it thank you
twitch chat
December 2016
Doublelift

Classic

League of Legends

Create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA

twitchquotes: Hello @imaqtpie :) I really appreciate your honorable try to create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA. But one thing, dressing up as one is a little bit to much, isn't it?
twitch chat
March 2018
imaqtpie

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018

Will this affect my Wayne

twitchquotes: Hello, Reynad I have been the butler of a very prestigious family for a very long time. Couple I work for has just recently been shot and killed, I have been left to take care of him but, he has resort to a life of crime fighting which is very dangerous. Will this affect my Wayne.
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing