[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Copy Pasta to start a pleb revolution

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

Hey Kripp, its Chad from the college football team

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, its Chad from the college football team, how you been bro? I see you're still playing video games some things never change! Hey are you still playing the wizard of warcraft game? I never had time for video games I was too busy playing football and going to frat parties. Anyways good seeing you bro,call me and we can hit the clubs.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Crewmate with buffed legs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠄
ascii art
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page

twitchquotes: hasanabi hey man big fan of your wikifeet page. After a thorough review of your gallery I have to admit you have some gorgeous feet. Toe-to-foot ratio is perfect. Toe nails are clean and well taken care of. Big fan of the contrasting tones of the soles and arches. The only bit of criticism I have is that you have no pics in nylon which is unfortunate.
twitch chat
March 2022
HasanAbi

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing