[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said

twitchquotes: "Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Moon's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to insert your payload?" protests Moon, as Seagull blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Moon. "Weak tank play, Moon." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Seagull charges like Reinhardt through Moon’s symmetra portal.
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

Yup, it's gamer time!

twitchquotes: No women: check. No leftists: check. No minorities: check. Yup, it’s gamer time!
twitch chat
April 2019

Patrick Star - I am back

──────────────────────── ─────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄────── ────────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█───── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀───── ──────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█────── ─────▄▀▒▄▄▄▒▄▄▄▒▒█──I─── ─────█▒▒─▀─▒─▀─▒▒█──AM── ─────█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█──BACK ────▄▀▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▀▀▄─── ──▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─ ─█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒█─ ─▀▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▀─ ───█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█─── ───▀█▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌█▀─── ─────█▒▒▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▒▒█──── ──────▀▀─────────▀▀─────
August 2015
Kripp

Copy tagliatelli vs Copy pasta

twitchquotes: This is a campaign from Tagliatelli. We have been noticing sales drops as a result of people's choice of regular pasta rather than the much more tasty tagliatelli. Would you all please stop spreading copy pasta and start copy tagliatelli?
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Hey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮Hey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
May 2017

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing