[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I can't believe it's already MLK eve

💁I CAN'T 🕶 BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY 💃M👏L 👏K 👏 🗣 EVE!! TONIGHT 🌛 WE WILL GATHER 👪 WITH OUR FAMILIES❤ NOT ONLY TO PRAY🙏 TO MLK 👍AND LET HIM KNOW💦💦💦 WHAT GIFTS🎁 WE WOULD 😚LIKE 😙 TO RECEIVE🍆 ON MLK DAY 🌞 BUT TO REMEMBER 😂 THAT MLK❤ IS THE REAL REASON 🎶 FOR 🎵THE 🎶 SEASON✔ SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER TRUE MLK FANS💯 OR YOUR BROTHERS 🙋 AND SISTERS🙆 WILL BE FOREVER OPPRESSED 😔
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

Any Bruvs?

⢏⣤⣶⡶⣌⡛⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠿⣿⣿⣷⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠿⣿⣷⣆⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⣬⡛⢿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣟⠙⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠊⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⠿⢿⡿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡁⠀⠾⠄⢻⡇⢰⣶⠀⣿⡄⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⢉⣼⠇⣀⣼⣷⡈⣇⢸⣿⡀⣿⣧⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠰⠿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠙⠛⠟⠙⠋⠋⠉⣀⠀⣶⣶⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿ ⣶⣄⢀⣀⣀⣠⡄⠚⠛⠡⣿⡇⣡⣼⠀⣿⡇⢹⡄⢿⠏⣸⠋⢤⣌⣻⣶⣿⠏⣸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⠇⣸⡇⣿⣿⠀⢿⠇⢸⣷⠘⢠⣿⠓⢶⠄⢹⣿⡧⢼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿
ascii art
December 2021

When a stream sniper looks at a stream, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun

twitchquotes: When a Stream Sniper looks at a stream, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when Kripp orders a 420YoloQuickSc0peR MLG 5000 Stream Sniper Rifle with a 10/10 BM magazine, orange juice holder, Cattarian reticle, with custom well met rounds, and an optional built in asshurt detection system, he's a casual.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

The Feed Lord is here

twitchquotes: Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana slowly stroked his beard. There was only one thing on his mind. "I have a need..." he smirked. "A need to feed." His hand moved from his beard to his mouse. He locked in kog maw with a grin. "The Feed Lord is here."
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I want a man who is a cunning linguist

twitchquotes: "Are you sure you've ever pleasured a woman before, poppet?" Mother asked with a snear, unamused by the clumsy performance of a rapper who couldn't use his tongue. "I'm doing my best, yo!" he replied, muffled between Mother's thighs. "You talk a big game, Mr. Dab, but you are proving to be quite a disappointment." The tattoo-faced man lifted his head aghast, his voice raising in pitch, "I got you a limo, yo, what else do you want?" Mother chuckled, "I want a man who is a cunning linguist"
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing