[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Fix abortion ban with NFT trading

Dear women, The United States will soon ban abortion country wide. So, how will you get one now? Simple. Fly to Canada. "But how will I get the money to fly there?" This is where NFTs come in. I am going to give a step by step process on how to afford a plane ticket with NFT Trading.
July 2022

NFTs

Goblin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠤⢶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠛⢻⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠶⣏⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣈⣿⡿⢷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⠤⠤⠤⠠⠾⠷⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⣛⣋⣉⣁⡀⢳⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⡀⢰⡆⢀⡤⠄⢰⡂⠉⠛⠁⢹⣿⠿⠛⢩⣥⣶⣿⠃⢸⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⣧⡄⡇⢸⠁⣶⣧⠄⣤⣿⣧⠈⠁⣶⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣼⡇ ⠄⠄⢶⣌⡁⠉⠘⠄⠈⢁⣔⠉⢹⣿⢆⢠⣬⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⠟⣠⠶⢋⡽⠁ ⠄⠄⢠⠛⠃⣤⢾⣿⠃⣎⣹⣿⣿⣷⠿⢆⣿⠿⠿⠟⣛⡛⠿⣿⣼⠃⣶⡞⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣼⢱⠖⡀⡀⢿⣿⠿⠛⣁⣋⣭⠖⣌⠻⢿⣿⠟⡆⣹⣥⡏⣀⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⡈⢹⡎⣾⡇⠱⠈⡁⠄⣶⠉⣉⢁⢸⣿⡀⠈⠁⣆⣰⣿⠏⣰⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣓⠘⠃⢛⣠⣥⣤⣶⡶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⠾⢋⣌⠻⠂⣉⣉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣴⡃⣿⡿⢡⣆⢉⣛⣩⣭⣤⣶⣶⣦⣬⣭⣥⣶⡶⠇⣿⡟⢰⣷⡌⣿⣷⡀⠄ ⢀⠻⡇⠛⢃⡟⣿⢰⣌⢙⠻⠿⢿⣿⡿⢻⠟⣁⠉⢡⡆⠋⠞⣸⠟⡁⠉⣿⣧⠄ ⠘⢧⡄⣤⣤⢠⡟⣸⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣜⣠⣤⣼⣿⡇⠸⢃⣼⡄⢃⣼⠃⣤⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Time is tickling

Time is tickling ⏰⏰ SEND 💌📲 this 🤳 to TEN (🔟) FESTIVE FREAKS 🎅🏿👯‍♀️🕺 if u get 🔟 BACK your a 🤤😏 STUFFED STOCKING SLORE 😍🧦🎁💝😻👀😳 get 5️⃣ BACK and ur a 😈🐎😈 Horny Xmas Ham 🙈🐷🤪🪵🔥😉😏 but if u get 0️⃣ back 😵 u got a 🔥 DRY C🅾️AL CUNT 🧆🌵😰😭😱🥲🍑
December 2023

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Christmas

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Pusheen the Cat

─────────────────────────────────────── ───▐▀▄───────▄▀▌───▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────────── ───▌▒▒▀▄▄▄▄▄▀▒▒▐▄▀▀▒██▒██▒▀▀▄────────── ──▐▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄──────── ──▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄────── ▀█▒▒▒█▌▒▒█▒▒▐█▒▒▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌───── ▀▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐───▄▄ ▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌▄█▒█ ▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒█▀─ ▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▀─── ▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──── ─▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐───── ─▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌───── ──▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐────── ──▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▌────── ────▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▀────────
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing