[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you?

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
January 2022

Politics

Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always!

twitchquotes: Hey Mods, I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know it's hard to manage a TwitchTV chat but I always want to tip my hat off to you guys. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next timeouts, and hope you get an even better ban score. I will continue to be here and find new TOS violations as always. Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud.
twitch chat
November 2014

MODS

An automated message from Blizzard Entertainment to Athene

twitchquotes: Greetings, AtheneLIVE! This is an automated message from Blizzard™ Entertainment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone™ AI has flagged your account due to an unusual number of ranked game losses. We recommend that you use the "Suggested Card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzard™ Team.
twitch chat
July 2014
AtheneLIVE

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Do they really feel like they are cool?

twitchquotes: I really wonder, when people spam the same thing as all the other people in the chat, do they really feel like they are cool? seems pretty damn stupid to me
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

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