[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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krippO

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ascii art
August 2016
Kripp

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Hikaru and Magnus fanfic

twitchquotes: "Your chess is insane." Hikaru said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Magnus's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests Magnus, as Hikaru blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Magnus. "Weak tempo play, Hikaru." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Magnus places his Rook into Hikarus open line.
twitch chat
April 2021
GMHikaru

Chess

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

What is left of the Kripp we all loved?

twitchquotes: Ｎｏ ＰｏＥ， ｎｏ ｃａｔｔａｒｒｉａｎ， ｎｏ ＯＪ， ｎｏｔ ｎｌ． Ｗｈａｔ ｉｓ ｓｔｉｌｌ ｌｅｆｔ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｋｒｉｐｐ ｗｅ ａｌｌ ｌｏｖｅｄ？ Ｎｏｗ ｈｅ ｐｌａｙｓ ｃａｓｕａｌｓｔｏｎｅ， ｆｉｓｔｓ ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｒｓ， ｄｒｉｎｋｓ ｍａｎｇｏ ｊｕｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｐｌａｙｓ ｆｏｒ ＴＳＭ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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