[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
December 2018

Weebs

Classic

forsenLevel

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡶⠤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣏⣀⣿⣿⣿⢳⣤⣜⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠾⠯⣭⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠙⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣽⣿⠄⠐⢦⣴⣶⢚⠋⠄⠄⣁⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠁⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠸⢷⣾⡄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⠇⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿
April 2022
Forsen

Emote

Troves lump

twitchquotes: So kripp moves closer to trump, whispering nasty things into the air, trump moves away in horror at Kripp's indecency, they both stop for a second and stare into eachothers eyes, kripp finally realises that he troves Lump
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Squidward

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August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing