[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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August 2021

Why won't my sister french kiss me?

Why won't my sister french kiss me? I have a date this weekend and I have never kissed a girl. Anyways I asked my sister nicely if shed let me practice french kissing with her. She slapped me and locked herself in her room. I screamed that she was the only girl I could practice with and she was being selfish. She got scared and called the cops. Plus she told her boyfriend and he wants to kick my ass. WTF is wrong with my sister. I hate her so much
July 2022

Confessions

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red 🔴 📛 sus 💦 💦. Red 🔴 🔴 suuuus. I 👁👄 👁 said 🤠🗣 💬👱🏿💦 red 👹 🔴, sus 💦 💦, hahahahaha 🤣 🤣. Why 🤔 🤔 arent you 👉😯 👈 laughing 😂 😂? I 👁🍊 👥 just made 👑 👑 a reference 👀👄🙀 👀👄🙀 to the popular 👍😁😂 😂 video 📹 📹 game 🎮 🎮 "Among 🇷🇴🎛 💰 Us 👨 👨"! How can you 👈 👈 not laugh 😂 😂 at it? Emergeny meeting 💯 🤝! Guys 👦 👨, this here guy 👨 👱🏻👨🏻 doesnt laugh 🤣 ☑😂😅 at my funny 😃😂 🍺😛😃 Among 💰 💰 Us 👨 👨 memes 🐸 😂! Lets 🙆 🙆 beat ✊👊🏻 😰👊 him 👴 👨 to death 💀💥❓ 💀! Dead 💀😂 ☠ body 💃 💃 reported ☎ 🧐! Skip 🐧 🏃🏼! Skip 🐧 🐧! Vote 🔝 🔝 blue 💙 💙! Blue 💙 💙 was not an impostor 😎 😠. Among 😂 🙆🏽🅰 us 👨 👨 in a nutshell 😠 😠 hahahaha 😂👌👋 😂. What?! Youre still 🤞🙌 🤞🙌 not laughing 😂 😂 your 👉 👉 ass 🍑 🅰 off 📴 📴☠? I 👁 👁 made 👑 👑 SEVERAL 💯 💯 funny 😀😂😛 😃❓ references 👀👄🙀 📖 to Among 💰 💑👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩 Us 👨 🇺🇸 and YOU 👈🏼 😂👉🔥 STILL 🤞🙌 🙄 ARENT LAUGHING 😂 😂😎💦??!!! Bruh ⚠ 😳🤣😂. Ya 🙏🎼 🙀 hear 👂 👂 that? Wooooooosh 💦👽👾 💦👽👾. Whats 😦 😦 woooosh 🚁 🚁? Oh 🙀 🙀, nothing ❌ 🚫. Just the sound 👂 🔊 of a joke 😂 😂 flying ✈ ✈ over 😳🙊💦 🔁 your 👉 👉 head 💆 💆. Whats 😦 🤔 that? You 👈 👉 think 💭 💭 im 👌 💘 annoying 😠 😠? Kinda 🙅 🙅 sus 💦 💦, bro 👆 🌈☺👬. Hahahaha 😂 😂! Anyway 🔛 🔛, yea 😀 💯, gotta 👉 👉 go 🏃 🏃 do tasks ✔ 📋. Hahahaha 😂 😂!
twitch chat
December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends player

twitchquotes: "Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends players who strove to be the best, Imaqtpie, Faker, EU Sucks, and 3 others" - Imaqtpie....
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Rick

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April 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing