[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts

twitchquotes: I like how [insert streamer name] doesn't realize that all his viewers are me on different accounts. Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitch chat
December 2015

Classic

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Diablo 2 is a top down shooter from the 1800s

twitchquotes: Hi Octavian, I've been watching your stream for some days now and I really enjoy it! Actually no, I hate it. You think you're always right when you play that cardgame and now you're playing some topdown shooter from the 1800's, dude grow up. Kid ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

LULW crying

⠙⠋⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠹⣿ ⣷⠿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣶⣿ ⣧⡤⠄⠀⣀⣀⣤⣬⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⠛⠲⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣋⣴⡶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⡟⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠉⠛⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣍⡉⠿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣬⣭⣭⣥⣤⣩⣍⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠛⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠛⢿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣸
November 2020

Plebs press 1 if you guys want freedom

twitchquotes: Plebs press 1 if you guys want freedom.... oh wait EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
Summt1g

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing