[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

hey xqc are you lying about my mom?

twitchquotes: hey xqc are you lying about fucking my mom? if so my dad will beat you up, hes a retired navy seal. I have never seen you in my house which is quite odd, but if i saw you i would beat you up on god.
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Scarra quit dignitas to start a life of crime

twitchquotes: Hey Michael it's me Scarra. I've made a huge mistake, I quit dignitas to start a life of crime, but I've already been arrested for attacking a rival gang member with a cheeseburger. Please bail me out..
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparrian, this is Reginald. It has come to my attention that you went 0-3 in Hearthstone arena. This is completely unacceptable and detrimental to the image of Team Solo Mid. Remove any and all affiliation with TSM and "BayLife" or I will be forced to call the 0-3 Police.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Cat anime girl

⣿⡟⠙⠛⠋⠩⠭⣉⡛⢛⠫⠭⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠋⣀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⡭⠭⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣞⣡⠴⠚⠁⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⡴⠁⡜⣵⢗⢀⠄⢠⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⡜⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠉⣠⠋⠠⠄⢀⡄⠄⠄⣠⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⠸⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣠⣬⣭⣛⠄⠁⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣏⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⢀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣸⠈⠄⠄⠰⠾⠴⢾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠆⠄⣦⣶⣦⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣀⣈⠙⠛⡛⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡆⢀⣈⣉⢉⣿⣿⣯⣄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣧⣽⣍⣾⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠩⠔⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⣿ ⣿⠃⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⠄⡀⡀⢀⣤⣴⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢹
November 2020

Weebs

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