[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: Ｍｙ ｓｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｄａｙ ｙｏｕ ｗｅｒｅ ｂｏｒｎ， ｔｈｅ ｖｅｒｙ ｗｅｂｓｉｔｅｓ ｏｆ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒｅｄ ｔｈｅ ｎａｍｅ： Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ．Ｍｙ ｃｈｉｌｄ， Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｐｒｉｄｅ ａｓ ｙｏｕ ｇｒｅｗ ｉｎｔｏ ａ ｇａｍｅｒ ｏｆ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅｎｅｓｓ．Ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ， ｏｕｒ ｆａｍｉｌｙ ａｌｗａｙｓ ｐｌａｙｅｄ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｋｎｏｗ ｙｏｕ ｗｉｌｌ ｎｅｖｅｒ ｐｌａｙ ｃａｓｕａｌ ｓｃｒｕｂｃｏｒｅ ｓｈｉｔ， ｂｕｔ ｔｈｅ ｔｒｕｅｓｔ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅｎｅｓｓ ｉｓ ｍｙ ｓｏｎ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｔｅｒｔａｉｎｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｉｅｗｅｒｓ． Ｉ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｔｈｉｓ ｆｏｒ ｗｈｅｎ ｍｙ ｄａｙｓ ｃｏｍｅ ｔｏ ａｎ ｅｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｓｈａｌｌ ｎｏｔ ｂｅ ｃａｓｕａｌ．
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Master Yi is broken

Not likely. I bet you probably go 0/6 against him and come to Reddit afterwards to complain about him so you can feel better about losing. I'm 100% convinced that the same people who like to joke about a Master Yi's "thought process" are the same people who whine about Aatrox and Katarina because they haven't got a clue what grievous wounds is. Every champion has a counter, if you don't understand Master Yi's counter (jungle invading, timing abilities, proper itemization), then why do you bother to circlejerk the "Master Yi is broken" stereotype?
March 2021

League of Legends

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Butt and thighs

ascii art
December 2021

NSFW

NA LOST TO CORONA

twitchquotes: NA LOST TO CORONA LUL NA LOST TO POLICE BRUTALITY LUL NA LCS IS SO BAD LUL NA PRODUCTION IS THE WORST LUL NA USING TEETH TO DEFEND THEMSELVES LUL
twitch chat
July 2020

EU vs NA

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