[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Only one cure to the memes

twitchquotes: there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\ there's only one cure to the memes FeelsGoodMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called “doctor” basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. don’t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Japan's most influential engineers

twitchquotes: Today, we've sadly lost one of Japan's most influential engineers. His name was "Yaoi Futanari" and he designed some of the most important parts of the modern CD Player. He has sadly passed away at the age of 96. Show some love and give him a search on Google.
twitch chat
June 2020

Poggers

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⢠⠾⣋⣭⣄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡎⣾⡟⢻⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣡⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⢿⣷⣾⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣦⣭⣭⣄⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣧⡘⠻⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⡇⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⣆⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⣿⠁⠄⠐⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠄⠄⠻⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄
October 2018

Pepe

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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