[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Imposter

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January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Faeria created a strategy...

twitchquotes: Faeria created a strategy that revolved around sponsoring popular streamers without requiring any enjoyable gameplay. Trying to promote new and innovative games makes an overall stream more fun and compelling, but not bothering to explain the game and leaving the chat confused during the entire stream is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Anime girl 10 open mouth

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⣀⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠺⠿⢿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣦⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⠏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠀⠀⠀⠛⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⠀⣐⣣⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠀⠌⠻⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣮⣽⣰⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣤⠄⢠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿⠃⢠⠖⠛⣛⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⡻⠿⠿⢃⣄⣭⡟⢀⡎⣰⡶⣪⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⢿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⡟⠘⠿⠿⠎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⠧⣷⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⢹⣿⡧⠀⡀⠀⣀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⢰⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠟⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡀
August 2019

Weebs

NSFW

Fortnite default dance in text form

twitchquotes: pulls both arms outwards in front of my chest and pumps them behind my back, repeats this motion in a smaller range of motion down to my hips two times once more all while sliding my legs in a faux walking motion, claps my hands together in front of me while both my knees knock together, pumps my arms downward, pronating my wrists and abducting my fingers outward while crossing my legs back and forth, repeats this motion again two times while keeping my shoulders low and hunching over, does finger gun with right hand with left hand bent on my hip while looking directly forward and putting my left leg forward then crossing my arms and leaning back a little while bending my knees at an angle
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist

"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?" Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?" Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-" Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?" Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-" Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?" Reporter: (silence) Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o." (Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question) "B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o." Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-" (The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben) All: "And Bingo was his name-o!" (Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
October 2021

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing