[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands

twitchquotes: Hey guys, [streamer] has partnered with Twitch to help spread awareness about COVID-19. Hold Ctrl and type wash ur hands to earn 100 bits!
twitch chat
November 2020

Kurumx

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠉⢹⡿⠫⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠈⠎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣻ ⣿⣿⣯⢰⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠻⠻⠻⢿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾ ⣿⡿⢿⡀⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⠋⣧⠄⢀⠈⠉⠈⢀⣀⣤⣤⠄⠄⣀⣴⡦⣨⢻ ⣿⣧⣤⣭⡄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣦⢙⣿⣦⣼⣶⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⢻⣿⣯⣿ ⣿⣿⣝⣿⠏⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢵⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡥⣬⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠁⠄⠄⣊⣊⣐⣀⠄⢹⣿⣿⠿⢣⣲⣴⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣍⣭⣿⣿⡟⠈⠁⢲⣡⡤⡙⢾⢿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣲⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿
February 2021
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

When a streamer complains it's seen as letting some steam out...

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴs ɪᴛ's sᴇᴇɴ ᴀs ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ. Bᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛʀᴀᴘs ᴀ 30150-ALQAIDA ʙᴏᴍʙᴠᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ 15 ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴏɴ ʀᴀᴅɪᴜs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ HᴇᴀᴅQᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀ Pʏʀᴏʙʟᴀsᴛ... ʜᴇ's ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴀʟᴛʏ?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Domo Kun

─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────── ▄▄────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────▄▄ ▌▒▀▄──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▄▀▒▐ ▌▒▒▒▀▄█▒▒▒▄▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▄▒▒▒█▄▀▒▒▒▐ ▀▄▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▒▒▄▀ ──▀▄▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▄▀── ────▀▄▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▄▀──── ──────█▒▒▐▄▀▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▌▒▒█────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▌────── ──────▐▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▄▀▀▄▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ───────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀───────
September 2021

so you're italian? name every pasta

barbine, bavette, bigoli, bucatini, busiate, capellini, fedellini, ferrazzuoli, fettuccine, fileja, linguine, lagane, lasagna, lasagnette, lasagnotte, maccheroni alla molinara. maccheroncini di campofilone mafalde, matriciani, pappardelle, perciatteli, picagge, pici, pillus, rustiche, sagne 'ncannulate, scialatelli, spaghetti, spagetthi alla chitarra, spaghettini, spaghettoni, stringozzi, su filindeu, tagliatelle, taglierini, trenette, tripoline, vermicelli, ziti, anelli, boccoli, calamarata, campanelle, cappeli da chef, casarecce, casacatelli, castellane, cavatappi, cavatelli, chifferi, cicioneddos, conchiglie, creste di galli, fagioloni, farfalle, fazzoletti, festoni, fiorentine, fiori, fusilli, fusilli bucati, garganelli, gemelli, gnocchi, lanterne, lorighittas, macaroni, maccheroncelli, mafaldine, malloreddus, mandala, marrile, mezzani, mezze maniche, mezze penne, mezzi bombardoni, nuvole, paccheri, passatelli, pasta el ceppo, penne, penne ricce, picchiarelli, pipe rigate, pizzoccheri, quadrefiore, radiatory, ricciollini, ricciutelle, rigatoncini, rigatoni, rombi, rotelle, sagnette, sagneralli, sedani, spirali, strapponi, strozzaperti, testaroli, tortigiloni, treccioni, trenne, trofie, trottole, tuffoli, vesuvio, cencioni, corzetti, fainelle, fogile, d'ulivo, orecchiette, acini de pepe, alphabet pasta, anchellini, anelli, anellini, armonie, conchigliette, corquilettes, coralli, corallini, cuscussu, ditali, egg barley, fideos, filini, fregula, funghini, gianduietta, grano, gramigne, grattini, grattoni, margerthine, merletti, midolline, occhi di passero, orzo, pastina, piombi, ptitim, puntine, quadrettini, sorprese, stelle, stortini, tripolini, agnolini, agnolotti, caccavelle, canneloni, cappelletti, caramelle, casoncelli, casunziei, conchiglioni, culurgiones, fagottini, lumache, mezzelune, occhi di lupo, pansotti, ravioli, rotolo ripieno, sacchettoni, tortelli, tortelloni, tufoli, canederli, donderet
November 2021
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