twitchquotes:
π³ THIS π² IS π΄ NOT π YOUR π² HOME π³ INVADER π²
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I used to be a real ad
More Hearthstone Copypastas
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
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Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
Kripp saved my marriage
twitchquotes:
I was going through a rough time in my marriage where nothing seemed to arouse me anymore. Things had gone stale between me and my wife in bed and divorce seemed inevitable. But then I discovered Kripp's stream and everything changed. There's just something about that vegan bald head that does something to me, and before I knew it my libido was back. I now go at it with my wife at the sounds of "Fuck!" and "Topdeck Flamestrike!" to boost my vigor. Thank you Kripp for saving my marriage.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
United States of America is now known as West Iran
twitchquotes:
The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Kripp reviews a card
twitchquotes:
β I got the beast in my sights β Hoot hoot β That belongs in a museum β Let me change your mind β I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, itβs a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that youβve played, so youβre playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesnβt really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means itβs a pretty good card.
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Kripp
Hearthstone
Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, this is Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C .... I came to warn you about the extinction of Herbivores and the 'never lucky' curse it bestows on us. Kripp, you must eat meat immediately! If you don't, a giant "MEAT-EOR" will crash into earth and extinct us all... again... Us Herbivores were wrong. WE WERE WRONG! 
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Kripp