[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Danksteed of Infinite Value

twitchquotes: 🐎 If you see this horse while scrolling the chat you have been visited by the danksteed of infinite value. Good trades and prosperity will come to you but only if you copy pasterino this in chat 🐎
twitch chat
September 2015

Hearthstone

This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017

Batman Amogus Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⡿⠋⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠻⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⣿⡻⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠱⠆⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣼⣽⣯⣻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠏⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣷⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠈⠳⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⠴⠞⣿⣿⡿ ⠀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⠃ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣉⡉⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣩⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣮⣹⢧⣿⣿⣿⡃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠁⠉⢉⣹⡏⠉⠉⠉⡙⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠉⣹⣿⣌⣩⣿⡏⠉⣽⠝⢻⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⢀⡀⠀⣿⡿⠷⠶⠶⠶⣶⠟⠉⢉⢉⠙⠙⠻⣾⣦⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠙⢻⡇⠀⠶⠤⡏⡇⠀⢤⠀⠀⣯⠠⠄⢈⣉⣁⣀⠷⢸⡏⠉⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠁⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣶⣾⣷⣶⣿⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣿⣤⣬⣤⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀
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May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢉⣀⣤⣤⣶⡆⢰⣶⡤⢤⣀⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠠⣾⡿⠛⠁⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣩⣤⡄⢠⡆⢰⣤⣀⣠⣍⡙⠛⠋⠙⢿⣦⠈⠛⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢀⣴⣄⠘⠛⢁⣠⣎⣿⣿⠿⠛⠒⠃⠘⠛⠛⠏⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠃⣠⣦⡀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢰⣿⣿⡿⢃⣀⠙⢿⠛⢉⣠⣴⣶⣿⡇⢸⣿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠈⢿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⢠⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⠃⢀⠘⢿⣿⠇⠛⠉⡁⢈⠉⠛⠻⣿⡿⠃⡀⠐⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⣿⡄⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿ ⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢀⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣦⠀⠁⢴⣾⣿⠇⠸⡿⠷⠆⠈⠀⠴⠁⠀⠀⢸⣄⡀⠸⣿⣿⡀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠁⣼⣿⡿⠀⣾⣿⡇⣰⡿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠆⢀⣿⣷⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍ ⠀⢇⠀⠀⡐⠀⣿⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠃⣿⠃⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⠀⢂⠀⠀⡸⠀ ⠀⠘⠄⠘⠀⢀⣿⠀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⡤⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⢀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⠀⣿⡀⠀⠃⠠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣈⠀⢳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡔⢸⣿⣿⠁⣸⣿⡿⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠡⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢹⡆⠈⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣧⠀⠁⢰⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⠇⢰⡏⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠌ ⠀⠁⢆⠀⡎⠀⠈⣿⡄⠠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢁⣴⣶⣮⡉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⣾⡟⠏⢠⣾⣷⠎⢠⣿⠁⠀⢱⠀⡰⠈⠀ ⣆⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⢁⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠇⣠⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢈⠎⠀⠀⣰ ⣿⡦⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠈⠷⡄⠻⢿⠿⢃⣀⠀⠴⣶⣶⣤⣌⣁⣀⡀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠃⣀⡘⠿⡿⠟⢠⡾⠁⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢴⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠑⠄⡀⠀⢃⠀⠀⢻⣦⡀⠀⠾⣿⣷⣦⡈⠙⠻⠿⣿⣏⡁⢸⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣾⣿⡷⠀⢀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡘⠀⢀⡠⠊⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⠑⠤⡀⠀⢀⠉⠻⣦⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⡀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣤⣴⣾⣿⠿⠛⢁⣴⠟⠉⡀⠀⢀⠤⠊⠁⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠈⠻⣿⣶⣤⡉⠙⠛⠿⠿⢿⡇⢸⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⢉⣤⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠉⠒⠒⠠⠤⠀⠄⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠠⠀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢈⡁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠁⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣾⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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May 2021
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