[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. โœŒ
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripparrian is NEVER lucky?

twitchquotes: (โ€ขโŒฃโ€ข) Daddy, is it true as the legend says. That Kripparrian is NEVER lucky? ( อกยฐโ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกยฐ ) Yes little dong. The legend holds true even to this day.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

neverlucky

Too salty for table salt

twitchquotes: Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

For every copy paste I will pushup

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ’ช for ๐Ÿ’ช every ๐Ÿ’ช copy/paste ๐Ÿ’ช I ๐Ÿ’ช will ๐Ÿ’ช do ๐Ÿ’ช 1 ๐Ÿ’ช pushup ๐Ÿ’ช
twitch chat
September 2017

James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Amogus 700 years in the future

Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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