[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
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Right in the face

twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans ⎝ Kappa ⎠
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

DrDisrespect's announcement

Hey guys. uuuuuh... I kinda have a little bit of an announcement, I just wanna be completely transparent with you guys, as you guys know I have a beautiful family, and a wife, and kid. And I wanna be transparent that I've been unfaithful, and I'm probably going to be taking some time away, t-time off, to focus on... Stupid fucking mistakes man
June 2019
DrDisRespectLIVE

Don't Sus With Me, Miss Nagatoro

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡄⠀⣃⣠⣤⣬⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⡴⢄⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣽⣼⣀⣜⣠⣿⣿⣴⡄⠀⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⢰⠆⢢⣤⣼⣿⣿⣧⣶⣶⡖⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⠉⠉⠁⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⡀⢺⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣀⣀⡀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⠣⠴⡾⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⠛⠿⠿⢛⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣛⣫⣵⣾⣿⣿⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢸⣿⣦⣝⠻⡿⣡⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⡹⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢰⡟⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢀⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣝⣩⣾⣿⢎⣤⣙⣴⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣷⣌⡿⠿⣛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⡇⠐⠀⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⢻⣿⢏⡶⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⢿⡷⢟⣫⣭⡛⣰⣿⠣⠁⣸⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⠀⡾⣸⣿⣎⢡⣿⢿⣿⡿⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⣋⣭⣧⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⢀⣇⢿⢸⣿⡘⠏⢼⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣐⣻⣿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣿⣿⣦⡘⣿⢸⣿⠌⣸⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣝⢿⣿⡔⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣬⣛⠿⣷⡍⣾⣿⠀⣿⣿⠿⣫⣔⢿⣿⣿⣿⢘⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⣬⣉⣛⠲⠶⠜⣛⣒⣤⣤⣛⣛⣿⣆⣉⡛⠉⣈⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣷⣶⠆⣤⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⣤⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢠⢠⣿⣿⣿⠃⣺⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⣭⣭⣭⣭⣤⣭⡍⠉⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⠈⣥⣤⣤⠀⠀⠼⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⠛⠿⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣍⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⢛⣋⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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