The other day, it was โtake your kid to work dayโ at my dadโs job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnโt help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, โIs this the Among Us but real??โ My dad replied โNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.โ
As we entered the building, my dad said โSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.โ He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said โDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?โ However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled โExecutive Meeting Roomโ. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me โHey buddy, are you lost?โ I noticed that his nametag read โHugh Johnson, CFOโ. โDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?โ, I asked. โNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!โ He was yelling at me. So I said โYouโre sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aโฆ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatโs funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!โ I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said โWanna play some Among Us guys?โ
The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said โYoung man, go back to the first floor now!โ But the sexy woman I just couldnโt listen to as I admired her. โNo, because you have big tits.โ Her jaw dropped, and she said, โYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!โ She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said โDo you like what you see?โ Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. โIโm so hot~~~~โ I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnโt find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 