[Copypasta] The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷

twitchquotes: 5Head Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head 🍷
twitch chat
July 2019
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Anime girl 7

⢰⡟⣡⡟⣱⣿⡿⠡⢛⣋⣥⣴⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⢼⡿⣰⡿⠿⠡⠿⠿⢯⣉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣦⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣷⢠⠀⠀⢠⣴⡖⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣯⣝⣻⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⡷⠂⠈⡉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⡤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿ ⣿⢸⣿⡅⣠⣬⣥⣤⣴⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡭⡄⣀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣈⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶ ⡧⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⡇⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⢫⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⡇⣿⠘⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠏⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⡾⢁ ⡇⣿⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢠⣤⠀⡤⢀⣠⣀⣀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⠉ ⣧⢻⠀⡄⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⢡⣶ ⣿⡘⠈⣷⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣎⠐⠿⢟⣋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⠖⢠⡬⠈⠀ ⣿⣧⠁⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⢀⠈⢀⡴⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣆⠘⣿⠀⠀⣀⡁⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠤⠚⠁⠄⣠
ascii art
April 2019

Weebs

Does anyone else bite their Switch?

twitchquotes: Does anyone else bite their Switch? This is not a shitpost, I really do this. I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get pissed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my switch for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Nintendo seems to have built the Switch with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp. What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching smash player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!
twitch chat
July 2020

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

Subs vs non-subs

twitchquotes: The best part about being a non-sub is that the chat spam seems real. If a sub is spamming it’s obvious they are just spamming for fun or to troll, because who would give money to a streamer they don’t like? By being a non-sub the possible genuine confusion and disinterest is actually there. And that’s something subs can’t get.
twitch chat
July 2020

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

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