[Copypasta] YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

"Boomer" is the n-word of ageism

twitchquotes: "Boomer" is the n-word of ageism. Being hip and flip does not make bigotry ok, nor is a derisive epithet acceptable because it is new.
twitch chat
November 2019

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny?

Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? But Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch Forgor what? Forgor how to be funny? Shut up you absolute troglodyte. Misspelling a word is not funny anymore, you just sound like an idiot. And don't even get me started about the 💀 emoji at the end. What is dead? Is it your unfunny jokes from 2020? Shut the fuck up you unfunny bitch.
October 2021

I forgor

"lmao" should be banned. "lol" is better.

An Unpopular Opinion: "lmao" is used too much on the internet. First, I'd like to start with an analysis, if you will. L - Laughing - describing a sense of funniness M My - referring to the self as the consumer of the humour A Arse - referring to a part of the human anatomy to form a slightly offensive reference reinforcing the laugh reaction O Off - ^^^ "lmao" is commonly used on the internet and especially forums or chat services to express enjoyment of a joke. In some ways, it is parallel of "lol", meaning "laughing out loud". This is one of the most seen acronyms used across the internet. "lmao" is spelled with an L at the front, which in lowercase appears like a capital I. Therefore, newcomers to the internet may try to pronounce it as "eye-may-oh", where in fact the general consensus is "ell-em-ay-oh" (to pronounce as an acronym) or "yl-may-oh" (to pronounce phonetically). The fundamental concept that the pronouncing is not clear cut obviously shows that "lol" is the superior (and far more commonly used historically, as "lol" has been searched for consistently since 2004 while "lmao" only became mainstream around 2015, at a significantly lesser volume to "lol") acronym. "lol" is simple, clear-cut and phonetically easy to pronounce. In fact, if I was to write the pronunciation into text, it would be the same thing as the acronym essentially. Second, the use of "arse". This may not offend a lot of people, but the inclusion of a word that may be rude or inappropriate to say for children in an acronym that may be used in places in the internet where children are. In "lol", no potentially rude words are included and the term is harmless. According to Ofcom, the British broadcasting regulator, "arse" is just as rude as "bloody" or "goddamn" and is considered mild. In conclusion, "lmao"'s use as a drop-in for "lol" is unacceptable. It should be only used to reflect and react to extremely funny jokes or messages, and should not replace "lol". "lol" is clearly easier to pronounce, more acceptable to children, and and is generally an easier to look at acronym.
July 2021

I saw JPOW at the grocery store

I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no. He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good. The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even" Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on. It was a pretty weird.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙? 𝕀'𝕞 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕥𝕣𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕠𝕣 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕡𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙. ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON
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