[Copypasta] someone who shares my passion for drinking water

twitchquotes: Finally someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for drinking water. I'm more of an alkaline person, I often like to drink from water bottles, Contigo brand specifically. I don't really like Reverse Osmosis, it kind of leaves a funny feeling in my mouth, but I'll drink it if needed. The only problem with Alkaline is that when you get a new filter the water is cloudy for a bit and the taste is off. My house has Two taps at the sink, one for alkaline, one for reverse osmosis.
twitch chat
August 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Jeff / Reynad / Mitch

twitchquotes: As Jeff pushed his Fiery War Axe deeper into Reynad's Golden Coin, Reynad hit end turn. Conceal wore off to reveal it was in fact Mitch Jones's Fiery Bat that was penetrating Reynad's Huge Toad. Reynad gasped, and tried to scurry away, but Mitch Jones held on as he forced his way into his Unstable Portal.
twitch chat
May 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017

TriHard v2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠻⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⠏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⡇ ⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡇ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃ ⣇⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀ ⣿⣿⣤⣤⡄⠄⠄⣠⣬⣼⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⣿⣯⣔⣆⣠⣍⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⡉⡐⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢤⣿⣀⣁⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⡀⢋⢩⣙⣛⣿⣿⡟⠉⠋⠛⠛⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⢼⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡥⡠⢒⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠅⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⣉⣛⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing