[Copypasta] someone who shares my passion for drinking water

twitchquotes: Finally someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for drinking water. I'm more of an alkaline person, I often like to drink from water bottles, Contigo brand specifically. I don't really like Reverse Osmosis, it kind of leaves a funny feeling in my mouth, but I'll drink it if needed. The only problem with Alkaline is that when you get a new filter the water is cloudy for a bit and the taste is off. My house has Two taps at the sink, one for alkaline, one for reverse osmosis.
twitch chat
August 2019
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More Copypastas

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Look, kid. You wanna give up?

twitchquotes: Look, ๐Ÿ‘€ kid. ๐Ÿ‘ฆ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ wanna ๐Ÿ™ˆ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up? ๐Ÿ”บ Fine. ๐Ÿ‘Œ But ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ here ๐Ÿ‘ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ this ๐Ÿ‘ˆ far ๐ŸŒŒ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ all ๐Ÿ’ฏ these ๐Ÿ‘ˆ followers, fans, admirers, and ๐Ÿ‘ hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ groupies by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ Don't ๐Ÿšซ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ champ. You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ boshy.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„!!

๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„!! Now that itโ€™s finally DICKmas ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆSantaโ€™s about to slide ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜‰ down your hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ hot ๐Ÿ”ฅchimney tonight. So lick ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’‹those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog๐Ÿผ, itโ€™s about to get wet down at Santaโ€™s workshop๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†! Donโ€™t forgot to slide down that XXXtra ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ big North Pole, and make sure your ๐Ÿช cookie ๐Ÿชis yummy enough for Santa to eat๐Ÿ‘„! ๐Ÿ‘€ But are you bad enough to handle Santaโ€™s giant juicy 8=candy๐Ÿ‘Š๐ŸผCOCK=D๐Ÿ’ฆ?? Send this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your baddest bitch elves๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youre on the naughty list this year๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ! If you get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back you better be ready for Santaโ€™s hot โ™จ๏ธCUMlateโ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ญ If you get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back youโ€™ve got the most bitchin ๐Ÿฌpeppermint ๐Ÿฌpussy in the North Pole! โ„๏ธโ›„ Hope you get to blow ๐ŸŒฌ lots of XXXmas ๐ŸŽ„dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas ๐ŸŽ„CUMMIES ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ HAVE A SLUTTY ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘…DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฝ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿผ
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Rania came to the wrong dongerhood

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD, RANIA เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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