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More Classic Copypastas
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
Are you going to pay for another pizza?
twitchquotes:Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME
twitchquotes:๐๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐จ๐จ๐THIS IS A ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธALERT. INCOMING ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEME๐ธ ๐๐HEADING STRAIGHT ๐๐YOUR WAY. ๐๐๐๐PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐ง๐ง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธ ๐๐๐ .BUCKLE UPโฟโฟโฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐ฎ๐ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐ต๐ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ฌDANK FACTORY.
๐๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐๐จ๐จWARNING๐จ๐จ๐THIS IS A ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธALERT. INCOMING ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEME๐ธ ๐๐HEADING STRAIGHT ๐๐YOUR WAY. ๐๐๐๐PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐ง๐ง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ธDANK ๐ฝMEMEโโ ๐ธ ๐๐๐ .BUCKLE UPโฟโฟโฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐ฎ๐ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐ต๐ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ฌDANK FACTORY.
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
