[Copypasta] That's the power of cargo pants

twitchquotes: Excuse me? Cargo pants, motherfucker. My pockets have pockets. You can't stop the storage. And when it gets too hot, just unzip and remove the lower half of the legs. Utility, motherfuckers. Want me to hold your phone for a second? how about I hold one of every phone on the market, each with their own individual pocket. Want me to hold your souvenir from your vacation to Europe? How about I put Europe in my pocket. That's the power of cargo pants, motherfuckers
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: เผผโ–€ู„อœโ–€เผฝ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. เผผโ–€ู„อœโ–€เผฝ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Copypasting tomfoolery

twitchquotes: Hello friends, I recently lost my job and am unemployed. Twitch chat has been my safe haven during this time. I come to this stream today and what do I see? Copypasting tomfoolery. Please, have respect for the intellectuals here and return to the days of glorious discussion in twitch chat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g

Grandmaster accused of cheating, responds hilariously

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...
August 2021

Chess

Minion Joker

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–“โ–Œโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–Œโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–โ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ•โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ•โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€
ascii art
September 2021

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020
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