[Copypasta] That's the power of cargo pants

twitchquotes: Excuse me? Cargo pants, motherfucker. My pockets have pockets. You can't stop the storage. And when it gets too hot, just unzip and remove the lower half of the legs. Utility, motherfuckers. Want me to hold your phone for a second? how about I hold one of every phone on the market, each with their own individual pocket. Want me to hold your souvenir from your vacation to Europe? How about I put Europe in my pocket. That's the power of cargo pants, motherfuckers
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Doublelift! It's me Greg from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Doublelift! It's me Greg from high school. How's it going man? Remember that one time you jacked off Mr. Stevens to get an A in gym? Haha classic Yiliang you always did the craziest things. Nice talking to you my man.
twitch chat
February 2017
Doublelift

Tanner from High School

The Rock: "cmon jabroni"

⣶⣿⣾⣷⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠃⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡘⣤⠀⢀⣾⣿⣻⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣩⠀⣦⡙⠟⠟⠛⢓⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣷⡗⠀⠀⠁⠒⠠⢀⢰⡿⠻⠼⠓⠂⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣻⣿⡟⣯⣿⢋⣯⡟⣿⠏⠿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣇⡟⡀⠀⣹⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣦⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠐⢩⣿⣿⢟⠟⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⡄⢰⡆⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⡄⠀⠀⢻⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠀⠀⠀⠈⢟⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠛⢷⡄⠀⠭⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣶⣿⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢼⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢣⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⠓⠄⡀⠈⠢⠀⠀⠐⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
July 2021

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Why are we whispering

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ ʷʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʷᵉ ʷʰˢᵖᵉʳⁿᵍ ຈل͜ຈ
twitch chat
August 2014
Riot Games

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing