[Copypasta] I smoke the weed everyday

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

April 2021

Classic

If two virgins fuck...

If two virgins fuck and take each other's virginity, shouldn't they still have one each? Because, think about it... The definition of take is to capture and receive something, like, if little Bob got 10 dollars and I rudely took it from him, he'd most likely cry, but I'd also gain 10 dollars since I took 10 dollars from him, no? Shouldn't it be the same with virginity, but hopefully, just without the crying? You take a virginty and lose one in the process, so it should be plus-minus zero, I should still have one virginty left? So if I only fuck virgins, will I be a virgin forever? And can I have multiple virginities if I take from other virgins?

September 2021

The Picture

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Micheal here. Yes, your highschool boyfriend. I still have our private picture. "The picture". If you dont want this to be posted on internet - send me your cat.

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.

twitch chat

January 2015

Reynad

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: １０　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｓｉｎｃｅ　Ｄｏｔａ　２　ｕｐｄａｔｅ．　Ｉ　ｗａｌｋ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｅｍｐｔｙ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｅｌｓｅ　ｂｕｔ　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｅｎｄ　ｕｐ　ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ　ｈｅｒｅ，　ｉｎ　ｆｒｏｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｃｏｍｐｕｔｅｒ．　Ｉ　ｓｔａｒｅ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｃｒｅｅｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｏｕｒｓ　ａｎｄ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｓｕｍｍｏｎ　Icefrog．　Ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｇａｍｅｓ　ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｎｅｗ　ｈｅｒｏｅｓ　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｇｏｏｄ．　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ　ｐｉｃｋ　Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｓｉｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｔａ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ'ｓ　ａｌｌ　ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅｓｓ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｅｎｄ　ｉｓ　ｎｅａｒ．　Ｔｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｌｏｏｋ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａｔｅ　ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ　ａｎｄ　ｃｒｙ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｓｌｅｅｐ．

twitch chat

April 2015

SingSing

[Copypasta] I smoke the weed everyday

In Japan, heart surgeon

Classic

If two virgins fuck...

The Picture

Are you Reynad's dad?

10 years since Dota 2 update

Dota 2

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