[Copypasta] Copypasta jokes are not funny

Iron Man

░░░░░░░██████████████████░░░░░░░ ░░░░████▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓███░░░░░ ░░░██▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█▓▓█░░░░ ░░██████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████████░░ ░░██──────███████████───────██░░ ░███───────██▓▓▓▓▓▓█────────███░ ░████───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────████░ ░█▓██───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────██▓█░ ░██▓█───────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█───────█▓██░ ████▓█──────█▓▓▓▓▓▓█──────█▓████ █▓██▓█──────▀██████▀──────█▓██▓█ █▓██▓█────────────────────█▓██▓█ █▓████────────────────────████▓█ █▓██▀──────────────────────▀██▓█ █▓██──█▀▀▀▀▄▄──────▄▄▀▀▀▀█──██▓█ ███───█─────▀██▄▄██▀─────█───███ ░██───▀█▄▄▄▄█▀────▀█▄▄▄▄█▀───██░ ░███────────────────────────███░ ░░█▓█──────────────────────█▓█░░ ░░█▓▓█────────────────────█▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓█──────────────────█▓▓▓█░░ ░░█▓▓▓▓█▄──────────────▄█▓▓▓▓█░░ ░░░█▓▓█▀█──▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄──█▀█▓▓█░░░ ░░░░█▓█─▀▄▄▀────────▀▄▄▀─█▓█░░░░ ░░░░░█▓█─────▄▄▄▄▄▄─────█▓█░░░░░ ░░░░░░█▓█▄▄▄██▓▓▓▓██▄▄▄█▓█░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░█▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░████████████████░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

ascii art

September 2021

I've been making fake sub names for Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey, my name is Carlton Pasterino. I have something to confess. For the last 3 years I've been making fake sub names for Kripp. He pays me pennies and dimes to come up with 50 new names a day. From Thundercuck to MrRabbit69, I've made over 80% of his subs up for him. I'm tired of working like a child laborer. I'm ready to go back to college and make something of myself. I'm here to let the world know.

twitch chat

December 2016

Kripp

Classic

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.

April 2021

I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.

October 2021

WallStreetBets

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.

twitch chat

April 2017

[Copypasta] Copypasta jokes are not funny

Iron Man

I've been making fake sub names for Kripp

Classic

Sheldon says BAZINGA

I challenge you to “Turtle King”

WallStreetBets

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Confirm Subscription