[Copypasta] Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

twitchquotes: Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car, I have an amazing new girlfriend, I make a shitload of money and I'm buying a house this spring. I party every weekend, I'm never home. I'm enjoying life. Do yourselves a favor. Stop trying to make gaming a career. It's cringe as fuck
twitch chat
September 2019
I used to be a real ad
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People watch reynad just to masturbate

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Reynad does it bother you that out of 15k viewers, its highly likely that some people watch your stream just to masturbate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

End Stream

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ascii art
May 2020

Dr DisRespect's speech

twitchquotes: let's talk about about me, let's talk about the 6'8 frame the 37 in verticle leap...the black steel that drapes down my back aka the bullet proof mullet, the google prototype scopes with built in LCD LED 1080p 3D sony technology. The Ethiopian poisonous catapillar aka SLICK DADDY. lets talk about the cabinets right behind me that go 40ft deep that house the other 95% of my trophies, the awards, the certificates, all claiming first place, right? Let me give you a little inside glimpse into the hotshot, video game life style of the two time of the international video game superstar. because thats what the channels about, thats what this domain is about, that is what society is about. you are looking at the new face of twitch and GODDAMN is twitch lucky... thats just off the top of my head
twitch chat
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

How traders politely decline the second date

I discovered recently if I am on a date and I’m not that interested in a second, all I need to do is start talking about my stocks. They won’t ask for another one then, I won’t have to politely decline.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

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