twitchquotes:
How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I hate April Fool's Day
Iโm fucking shaking and crying right now yโall, and people arenโt taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNโT FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iโve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyโd be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iโm BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iโm allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITโS SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iโve had enough
Jam a man of fortune xQc
8th year without variety
๐ โ 
๐๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ป๐ด๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ 8๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฟ๐ช๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ. ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ฎ ๐น๐ป๐ช๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐ช๐ต๐ฟ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. .
๐๐ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ป๐ด๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ 8๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฟ๐ช๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐. ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ช๐ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ซ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ. ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ผ๐ฎ ๐น๐ป๐ช๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐ช๐ต๐ฟ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. .
Forsen
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Classic
Roblox has taken over my sons life
Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job