[Copypasta] When batman beats mentally ill clowns

twitchquotes: How come when batman dons a suit of armor and beats up mentally ill clowns its "Heroic" but when I do it I'm "Committing manslaughter" and I'm "Not allowed in McDonalds again"
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

My 12 year old son watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Today my 12 year old son and I walked into harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudly asked what a 12 year old was doing signing up for such a prestigious institute like harvard. My son took of to reveal his Rick and Morty shirt and proclaimed "Well you see sir I watch Rick and Morty". A look of confusion came over the deans face and I have never been so proud. The dean quickly made sure to appologize to my son but it was too late, the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated top of his class in the first day of college.
twitch chat
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Anime girl 11

⡿⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⣋⣵⣮⠇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠋⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣯⣾⣿⡿⣳⡟⣰⣿⣠⣂⡀⢀⠄⢸⡄⠄⢀⣈⢆⣱⣤⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡟⣹⡿⣸⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣾⢻⣆⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣀⣤ ⠄⠄⣼⡟⣿⠏⢀⣿⣇⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠋ ⡆⣸⡟⣼⣯⠏⣾⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠸⠁⢹⡿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⡇⡟⣸⢟⣫⡅⣶⢆⡶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣛⠃⠰⠆⠈⠁⠈⠙⠈⠻⣿⢹⡏⠄ ⣧⣱⡷⣱⠿⠟⠛⠼⣇⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠈⠄⠄ ⡏⡟⢑⠃⡠⠂⠄⠄⠈⣾⢻⣿⣿⡿⡹⡳⠋⠉⠁⠉⠙⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄ ⡇⠁⢈⢰⡇⠄⠄⡙⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣱⣿⡗⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠈⢰⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⠴⣄⣡⢄⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⡇⢀⠄⠤⠈⠁⣠⣠⣸⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣷⣬⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣟⢷⡶⢗⡰⣿⣿⠇⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⡟⢀⠃⠄⢸⡄⠁⣸ ⣿⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢄⡆⠄⢀⣪⡆⠄⣿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣟⣻⣩⣾⣃⣴⣿⣿⡇⠸⢾
January 2020

Weebs

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 🤔 and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣 The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

This streamer believes that he has many different viewers

twitchquotes: This streamer believes that he has many different viewers, however it is really only me on many different accounts. To prove this, I will now repost this exact message on all my other accounts.
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing