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NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT 
NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT
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I used to be a real ad
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Brofist and crofist
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
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Kripp
I hate the French language
I struggle to find the right words to describe just how much I hate the French language. I'm not racist but I think the world would really be a better place if all French speakers just stopped speaking French and learned a normal language. Nothing about this language remotely makes sense, or is even internally consistent. Why are there so many silent letters? Half the words have pronunciations which somewhat resemble their spelling, and the other half seems like French people just decided to add a bunch of letters so they can act like they're better than everyone else. The language seems like it's deliberately constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. Why the hell do verbs have different conjugations for you, me, he/she, we, you(plural), and them? Even the English language doesn't have that many arbitrary conjugations.
I made an honest attempt to learn French, I really did, but the language is just filled with bullshit rules for grammar and everything else. Whichever way you look at it, it's almost as if French is constructed to be as difficult to learn as possible. For real, English isn't my first language but I learned it just fine; trying to learn French after that feels like bashing my head against the wall. This is somewhat irrelevant, but I've heard that some French speakers who speak some English like to pretend they don't speak it when you talk to them. Why do you have to make life difficult for everyone, I'm not going to make fun of you for speaking English poorly. That's not even mentioning how metropolitan French has a superiority complex over other variations of French, all neutral observers will agree that they are equally shit. Also I've heard that some French speakers tend to discriminate against people who speak a local dialect of French, as if one version of a language is better than all others. Sure, the same thing happens with English, but at least the English language doesn't suck.
So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay
So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&Mโs wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Itโs that kind of party."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, canโt resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
Roses are red. Violets are blue.
twitchquotes:
๐ก๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ. ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ช๐ป๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ต๐พ๐ฎ. ๐๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ช ๐ฏ*๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ท ๐ผ๐พ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐ญ*๐ฌ๐ด
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Forsen
Kripp sends Hafu a romantic letter
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Kripp, this is Hafu... Remember when i asked you to unleash your hounds on my freezing trap but instead you gave me an explosive shot to the face with your acidic swamp ooze? While i always love a good multishot to the face... you finished so quickly it fealt like i was having sex with Nozdormu or something... i mean, i am not just some succubus for you to shiv any time you please..
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Kripp