[Copypasta] legs man or a breasts man

twitchquotes: One time I was asked if I was a legs man or a breasts man, I said I was into shaved pussy and anal and now I’m "banned from KFC" and "a possible sex offender"
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good ‘ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies 🚀 Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out 🚀🚀🚀 For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

PunOko

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣅⠀⠈⢧⠀⠈⠛⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⡶⠟⠀⠀⣈⠓⢤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣀⣴⠶⠿⠿⢷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠶⠛⠃⠈⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣡⣄⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠛⢛⣲⣶⣿⣷⣉⠉⢉⣥⡄⠀⠀⠀⠨⣿⣿ ⡇⢠⡆⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⡅⠀⠀⡄⠠⢸⣿ ⣧⠸⣇⠀⠀⠘⣤⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⢰⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣷⣽⣦⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣷⣾⣿⣶⠾⢟⣥⣾⣿⣧⠀⠂⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠒⢻⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣀⣾⣿⣿
June 2019

Weebs

chat will copy and paste any long paragraph

twitchquotes: i love [streamer name] so much. he goes live everyday and is full of energy. im not even gonna type anything that makes sense cause chat will copy and paste it anyways. the proof to my theory will be present if chat gets filled with this paragraph
twitch chat
October 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing