[Copypasta] TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent. Am I the asshole?

>hanging out with friend group >one guy facetimes some british slag he knows >i start cracking bongland jokes inna bri'ish accent >say she sounds like hermione >Make some joke about earl grey tea >she says, "ask this fuck'a how you even make earl grey tea >Say, "toss it in the boston harbor" >bongchick gets all pissed off >friend asks me to leave Am I the asshole?
June 2021

greentext

British People

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

No mods

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⣶⣶⣶⣶⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼ ⠄⠄⣸⣧⣄⣰⠆⢙⠳⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣽⣂⣈⣁⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣾⣿ ⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢩⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠰⢿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⡄⣤⡀⠈⠛⣿⣟⢿⣿⡇⠄⢠⣼⣷⣦⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣷⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⡌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣉⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣤⣄⠈⠉⠁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣉⣡⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠉⢹⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣾⠄⢰⡆⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⠰⡷⠄⢸⡤⢈⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣶⣾⣷⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣾
ascii art
January 2019

MODS

People watch reynad just to masturbate

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Reynad does it bother you that out of 15k viewers, its highly likely that some people watch your stream just to masturbate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing