[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Dank memes

twitchquotes: 🅳🅰🅽🅺🅼🅴🅼🅴🆂
twitch chat
March 2016
ESL TV LoL

Will this pay for singing in mumble

twitchquotes: [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲] Leifman will this pay for singing in mumble? [̲$̲(̲ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲)̲$̲]
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno hates Jame

Its a me, receptionist Giovanni Lasagna from Library on A site Inferno. I like to read my book in silence but mamma mia, i can not! There is man storming into quiet library every 10 minute with gun he say "He need his AWP next round" so he "is saving". Tell him, I will call police next time!!!!
May 2022

CSGO

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros"

twitchquotes: Whenever kripp says "alright subber-bros", I know it's time. I full screen the stream and grab my vaseline. I apply a huge load onto my newly shaved butthole and rub it all around nice and even. And then, when kripp says "thanks, and welcome to the 5 dollar club", I place my butthole in front of the screen. It is in that moment, that kripp fists me. I moan with pleasure. I'm one with the kripp
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp
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