[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
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Donger

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ascii art
November 2014

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, β€œDo you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. β€œDude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. β€œFortnite?” Then another. β€œYeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with β€œwhere we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say β€œTilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

POWERING UP PORTAL ONLINE

twitchquotes: <(-O-)> POWERING UP <(-O-)> PORTAL ONLINE
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

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