[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, this is Optimus Prime

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp this is Optimus Prime responding to your encoded message. We are not interested in pouring our self in OJ while Topdecking Dongers. Please be advise that anymore beeping will leave me no choice but to pepperoni the Nazi mods.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

What if we make Firelands Portal a common?

twitchquotes: "How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Do you know who else didn't pet cats?

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, do you know who else didn't pet cats? Hitler. Hitler didn't pet cats. Do you want to be a Nazi too?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

sneaky and meteos are out walking in the park

twitchquotes: Its a cold autum eve and sneaky and meteos are out walking in the park as the multicolored leaves dwindles down on top of their heads, meteos slowly slips his hand into sneakys as he gives him a devious smile. they then proceed into the bushes and through the park the words ''METEOOOs'' could be heard eccoing.
twitch chat
July 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing