[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
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Fortnite default dance in text form

twitchquotes: pulls both arms outwards in front of my chest and pumps them behind my back, repeats this motion in a smaller range of motion down to my hips two times once more all while sliding my legs in a faux walking motion, claps my hands together in front of me while both my knees knock together, pumps my arms downward, pronating my wrists and abducting my fingers outward while crossing my legs back and forth, repeats this motion again two times while keeping my shoulders low and hunching over, does finger gun with right hand with left hand bent on my hip while looking directly forward and putting my left leg forward then crossing my arms and leaning back a little while bending my knees at an angle
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

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Back in my day copying a message took skill

twitchquotes: ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜) Back in my day copying a message took skill. Now the chat stops moving when you scroll up. Disrespectful kids and their technology. ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜)
twitch chat
August 2015
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My instagram explore tab is full of...

My instagram explore tab is full of asian girls. How do I get rid of this so my gf doesn't see?
December 2020

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I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my รœbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

A fine capitalist girl

twitchquotes: I may beโœŠ a communist ๐Ÿšฉโš’โญ๏ธ but if i see๐Ÿ‘€ a fine ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ capitalist ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ girl ๐Ÿ‘ฑโ€โ™€๏ธ you bet๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ™Œ imma be tryna seize ๐Ÿ‘ the means of dat booty ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฏ
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

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