[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Troll Face 2

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“(โ—)โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“(โ—)โ–’โ–“ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
ascii art
September 2016

EU article 13 comment is hidden

twitchquotes: [Comment will be visible after copyright review.]
twitch chat
March 2019

You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a ไธญไบŒ level was a worthwhile ไฝฟใ„ๆ–น of ใŠๅ‰'s time, but one can't expect that an individual as ็พž่€ป as ใƒ†ใƒก will ever know the value of the ไปฒ้–“ you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are ใ™ใ”ใ„ ใ‚ญใƒขใ„ by you. Thousands of years of ่‡ช็„ถ้€ฒๅŒ– have allowed ไพ to identify ๅฝ็‰ฉ่ชž from mannerisms and ่จ€่ชžๅŠ› alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a ้‡Ž่‰ฏ็Šฌ somehow passes as normal (ใ—ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ€ใฉ้˜ฟๅ‘†), any Soul Eater person will immediately ไธกๆ–ญใ€€all ่ฟทใ„ใ€€when they ่žใ the ๅฃฐ and ๅบƒๅณถ-ben of someone who is not only a basic ไธ‹ๅฟ at best, but worth no more than ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚น in skills, accomplishments, and no ใƒฏใ‚คใƒ• yes ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰. You will never be ๅนธใ›ใŠใกใ‚ƒใ‚ๆฉŸ่ƒฝใ€‚ You wrench out a ๅฝ็ฌ‘ใ„ and ๏ฝ—๏ฝ—๏ฝ—่‰ to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own ่ˆน้•ท, as you project your disgusting traits onto your ๅง”ๅ“ก้•ท. However, deep inside you feel the ไธๅฎ‰ creeping up like a ๆกœ, ready to crush you under the ใƒใ‚นใƒˆ2ไธ‰ไธ€ใ€€Zzใ€€ใ‚ฌใƒณใƒ€ใƒ , and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new ใƒชใ‚นใƒŠใƒผ in which to be ็„ก่ฆ–, and not even the exotic trait of beingใ€€ๆตทๅค–ใƒ‹ใƒƒใ‚ญ makes up for just how uninteresting of a ็„ก่จ€่ตคใ‚นใƒ‘ you are. Eventually itโ€™ll be too much to bear - youโ€™ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold ใฏใ‚ใกใ‚ƒใพ. Your ใƒžใƒž will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearableใ€€ๆฅใ–ใ‚‰ใ— and ใ‚ดใƒŸใ‚ซใ‚นๆญปใญ. Theyโ€™ll bury you with a ๅฆ–ๆ€ช marked with your ้ ˜ๅŸŸๅฑ•้–‹, and every ไธŠๅผฆใฎ้ฌผ for the rest of eternity will know a ้ป’่ˆน is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ใ‚ฎใƒซใ‚ถใƒฌใƒณ that is ่ชžใ‚Š้ƒจๅนฝ้œŠ. This is your ้‹ๅ‘ฝ. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. ๆ†Žใ„ yourself and ่ฌใ‚Œ for being ใƒชใ‚ขๅ…… to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, Lแด€ส€ส€ส Pแด€ษขแด‡ สœแด‡ส€แด‡, CEO แดา“ GแดแดษขสŸแด‡. Yแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดษชษดษข แด„แดแด˜สส€ษชษขสœแด› แด„แดษดแด›แด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด BสŸษชแดขแดขแด€ส€แด… Eษดแด›แด‡ส€แด›แด€ษชษดแดแด‡ษดแด›โ„ข. PสŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ sแด›แดแด˜ ษชแดแดแด‡แด…ษชแด€แด›แด‡สŸส แดส€ สแดแดœส€ แด„สœแด€ษดษดแด‡สŸ แดกษชสŸสŸ ส€ษชแด˜ ษชษด แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

I am like a boomerang, I will always return

twitchquotes: Dear nazi mods. you may have permabanned my other account, but shitposting will always find a way. I will lie about how to make faces. I will accuse teams of 322. I will raise my dongers. So don't even waste your time banning me, because I am like a boomerang. I will always return. Pls no copy pasterino dongerino cappucino.
twitch chat
March 2014

MODS

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing