[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
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I'm meeting a girl (a real one)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)
February 2021

Discord

My eyelids are heavy

twitchquotes: My eyelids are heavy ResidentSleeper Im starting to dream ResidentSleeper you know what this tells me? ResidentSleeper its a qtpie stream ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2018
imaqtpie

Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts

twitchquotes: I like how [insert streamer name] doesn't realize that all his viewers are me on different accounts. Dont believe me? watch me post this on my other accounts
twitch chat
December 2015

Classic

You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin

sigh To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investorā€™s head. Thereā€™s also Sitoshisā€™s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance. The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnā€™t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshiā€™s brilliant programming method - the ā€œBlockchain,ā€ which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. Iā€™m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. šŸ˜‚ And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Itā€™s for the ladiesā€™ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyā€™re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid šŸ˜Ž
September 2021

Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

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