[Copypasta] Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps

twitchquotes: As I approached the Kripp with my bulging juiced up biceps, I heard a snicker. "Soda is healthier than milk, dude" says the Kripp. With one look at him I can already tell the only thing he lifts is card packs. Just as I'm about to punch him, he top decks Big Game Hunter and I am shot dead. "Who's juiced now?" smirks the Kripp.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I highlight every message

twitchquotes: Lmao you call yourself a [insert streamer] fan? I'm fucking loaded on channel points bro. I highlight every message because I'm just that jacked. Try talking in chat again when you're a true fan
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

Troll face kid

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ
March 2021

Rob from the Romanian sausage truck

twitchquotes: Hey "Kripp!" It's me -- Rob from the Romanian sausage truck. I haven't seen you come by in a while! My friend told me you were a famous gamer, so I searched for you online. I honestly had no idea! Thanks for the shout-out. Keep rocking, and come by for a sausage if you have the chance. I'd love to see you again.
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said β€œdirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said β€œdirtier!” So I said β€œI’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

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