[Copypasta] I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019
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Ming like a Lee

twitchquotes: Fly like a butterfly (ノ ̄ー ̄)ノ Sting like a bee (┌゚д゚)┌ RNG pls bless me ヾ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ♪ Ming like a Lee ヽ MingLee ノ♪♬
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Intellectually demanding deck

twitchquotes: I scored 160 on the WAIS-IV many years back, at 4 standard deviations from the mean, or at the 99.997th percentile. My childhood IQ score on the SB-LM was 189. Is there a deck that is very intellectually demanding and has an extremely high skill cap that will test my intellect to the very most?
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August 2016
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta

HOLA👋🏻 all you dirty little TACO🌮SLUTS😘🤣do you know what day it is?!🤔 I smell immigrants🙎🏾‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️ and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION🙅🏼 so it must be SINKO DE FUCKING MAYONNAISE😩💦🍻🌮❤️🌯 Hide your KIDS👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, hide your BURRITOS🌯, and get your CUMMIES READY😩cause DADDY TRUMP🇧🇪is coming to deport us all🤷🏽‍♂️🙆🏾 But DONT FORGET to drink TACOS 🌮 and eat TEQUILA 🍸because the only way for you FILTHY CUMSLUTS to stay in America🇺🇸is to PARTYYY🎈🎉🎁😍💦😩 So send this to CINCO(5 you dumb bitch) of the SLUTTIEST😏 jars of MAYO you know and if you DONT ❌get any back you get NO 🚫🚫CULTURAL CUMMIES 😭🤷🏽‍♂️🌮💦😩
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Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

what's a fella gotta do to get some apple juice?

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April 2019
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