[Copypasta] Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Mayor of Canadaland

twitchquotes: แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs แด›สœแด‡ แดแด€สแดส€ แดา“ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…แด€สŸแด€ษดแด…. แดกแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… สแดแดœ สœแดแดแด‡ แดส sแดษด, แด‡แด แด‡ส€ sษชษดแด„แด‡ สแดแดœ สŸแด‡า“แด› แดœs แดแดœส€ sแด€สŸแด› แดษชษดแด‡s สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ส€แดœษดษดษชษดษข แด…ส€ส. ษดแด แดษดแด‡ ษชs แด˜ส€แดแด ษชแด…ษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡sแด‡ แด˜แดแดส€ สœแด€ส€แด…-แดกแดส€แด‹ษชษดษข แด˜แด‡แดแด˜สŸแด‡ แดกษชแด›สœ แด›สœแด‡ แด›แด€ส™สŸแด‡ sแด€สŸแด› แด›สœแด‡ส แด…แด‡sแด‡ส€แด แด‡ า“แดส€ แด›สœแด‡ษชส€ แด…แด€ษชสŸส แดแด‡แด€สŸs. แดกแด‡ ษดแด‡แด‡แด… สแดแดœ แดแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

How do I properly get rid of a life size sex doll?

I bought a $1000+ sex doll which weighs almost 100 pounds and has a metal skeleton and silicone outside. It's like 5'3 and looks very realistic. I bought it when I was drunk like 2 years ago and didn't cancel the order the next day as I forgot I even ordered it; it showed up on my doorstep like 10 days later in a huge box... I tried to use it once but it is impossible to use because its so cold lol. I have it buried under clothes that I don't wear anymore in my walk-in closet for almost 2 years and every time I have a girl over I have to keep the closet locked and I even have to tell my cleaner to clean all rooms aside from my walk-in closet as I am embarrassed by it. I NEVER litter but I don't know what to do with it. I really want to put it in the back of my truck and dump it in the woods somewhere but I know that is a shit thing to do and will not do it. How can I dispose of it in a environmentally safe way without driving to a dump and looking like I am disposing of a dead body or having the workers laugh at me? I can't cut it up into pieces and put it into trash bags as the skeleton is metal and I just don't have the tools to do it; its a really legit sex doll it is super high quality. My apartment complex has a huge dumpster but its all on camera; should I just go there super late at night and throw it in there? The dumpster is on camera and its for "trash only" it says no metal and no boxes. Anyone have an answer on how to dispose of this thing by myself, quietly and without anyone seeing me? Thanks !! EDIT: Lots of weirdos getting angry at me because I "fabricated this" story/question. She just got a (SFW) photo shoot for you so shut up. https://ibb.co/album/xKkCs1
July 2021

Mario

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
November 2014

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing