[Copypasta] HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจHAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom๐Ÿ—ฝloving hoes๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…who put the ๐Ÿ‘in IM๐Ÿ‘MENT๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›looks like donald๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿคฎfinally got caught๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โœˆ๏ธtrying to call daddy ukraine๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ to take out hoe biden๐Ÿง“๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”ฅ but now we need to RIDE๐Ÿ‡CUMgress ๐Ÿ›raw๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘… so they canโ€™t back down๏ธ, send this to๐Ÿ”Ÿof your๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿปwokest๐Ÿ“woes๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŒor say ๐Ÿ‘‹BYE to ur independence๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉeating that IMPEACHMENT๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธDAY๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธASS ๐Ÿ‘is the only๏ธ ethical๐Ÿ‘Œform of consumption๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹under late capitalism๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ด๐Ÿ’ถso WEโ€™RE ALL EATING TODAYโ˜ญโ˜ญโ˜ญ๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘…
twitch chat
December 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iโ€™m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iโ€™m not sure what to say in interviews now if Iโ€™m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Troves lump

twitchquotes: So kripp moves closer to trump, whispering nasty things into the air, trump moves away in horror at Kripp's indecency, they both stop for a second and stare into eachothers eyes, kripp finally realises that he troves Lump
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Ditto

โ €โ €โ €โข โกœโ ›โ ›โ ฟโฃคโ €โ €โฃคโกผโ ฟโ ฟโขงโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โฃ€โกถโ Žโ โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ถโ ถโ ‰โ โ €โ €โ ˆโ นโข†โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃ€โกฟโ ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโฃ†โก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โขฃโก„โ €โ €โ € โ ›โฃงโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ € โ €โ ›โฃงโก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โข โกผโ ƒโ €โ € โ €โ €โ ฟโข‡โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฐโ ถโ ถโข†โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโก‡โ €โ € โ €โ €โฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โขฃโฃค โ €โฃถโกโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโฃฟ โ €โ ฟโฃ‡โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃธโ ฟ โ €โ €โ ™โขณโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโกžโ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ›โฃถโฃถโฃถโฃถโกžโ ›โ ƒโ €
September 2020

Domo Kun

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„ โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ– โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–’โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
September 2021

This is the Prismata Police

twitchquotes: (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ) This is the Prismata Police, You're coming wi... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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