[Copypasta] I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020
Variation of this copypasta: https://www.twitchquotes.com/copypastas/3256
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Crewmate pickle

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣻⣷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⣾⣟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⢹⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⢻⡇⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⡇⠀⣿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⢸⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⢰⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⣴⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠈⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠪⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠁⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡆⠀⣰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡆⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠁⠀⣰⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⣧⢈⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⠋⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⢻⣦⠓⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠿⠶⣶⣤⣤⣶⡶⠿⠛⠉⠀
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April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Poggersception

⠄⠰⠛⠋⢉⣡⣤⣄⡉⠓⢦⣀⠙⠉⠡⠔⠒⠛⠛⠛⠶⢶⣄⠘⢿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣧ ⢀⡔⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠉⠁⡀⠐⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡈⠳⢄⣹⣿⣿⣾⣿ ⣼⠁⢠⡄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⡐⠁⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⡀⠈⠄⠄⣀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⡇⠈⠛⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢉⡓⠚⠛⠛⠋⣉⣩⣤⣤⣀⠑⠤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢁⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⠙⠛⠋⣭⣭⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢠⡍⠉⠉⢠⣤⣴⠚⢩⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣭⣭⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣴⣶⡶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣮⣭⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠙⣿⡄⠄⠄⢀⡤⠬⢭⣝⣒⢂⠭⣉⠻⠿⣷⣶⣦⣭⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⡇⠄⠸⣎⣁⣾⠿⠉⢀⠇⣸⣿⣿⢆⡉⠹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⢀⡶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠮⠭⠭⢭⣥⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⣭⣙⣹⢙⣰⡎⣿⢏⣡⣾⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⠄⠄⠈⣿⠉⠉⣻⣿⡷⣰⣿⡿⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠘⠿⠤⠤⠿⠿⠿⢤⣤⣤⡿⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣾⡿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
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June 2021

Pepe

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Repeating yourselves like parrots

twitchquotes: Wow, you imbeciles are especially stupid tonight. Repeating yourselves like parrots, spouting puerile taunts at each other, using crude 'emoticons'... Can you even form SENTENCES? One day you'll all be too dumb to even type your 'dongers,' and then twitch chat can finally have some merit. Until then, I'll stick to the moderated streams..
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

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