[Copypasta] Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

Think you can beat me?

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β  β „β „β ’β ‚β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „ β’€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘€β „β£°β£Άβ£¦β‘ˆβ „β „β „β „β „β „THINK ⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⑄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⑏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT β „β „β’€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ Ίβ‘‡β „β’΅β£€β£€β „β „β „β „β „ME β „β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β β „β£·β£€β ˆβ ™β ›β ‘β „β „β „β „1,2,3? ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⑇⠹⣿⣿⣿⑦⠄⠹Ⓙ⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’°β£€β£€β£€β£ β£”β’°β „β „β „β „β’€β‘ˆβ „β „β „ β’ β£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β’Έβ‘†β „β β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Œβ „β „ β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘†β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ώβ‘€β „β ˆβ „β „β’€β „β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „ β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β£Ώβ£·β£¦β „β β „β „β „β ˜β „β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£‡β  β „β’€β‘‰β „β „β „β „β „β’€β‘†β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ‘‡β „ β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β’€β£Ώβ£Ώβ’·β£Άβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ύβ’Ÿβ£Ύβ£„β „β‘΄β£Ώβ‘€β „ β „β „β „β „β ˜β£Ώβ£§β£β£Ώβ£·β£β’Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ‘‘β ‹β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β£β ›β ‹β β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Žβ’ β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’ β£Ώβ£·β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ƒβ „β „β ˆβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β „β „β „
November 2018

Classic

bbz will u luv me 4evr

gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO.." ... da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body. she was ded. he whispered 2 her corpse "I ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he luv her moar den 4evr) xxx~*...LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVRY TIME...~*xxx
March 2021

Classic

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

gachiGASM

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–„β–“β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–€β–’β–€β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–“β–’β–“β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–’β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘
April 2016

KappaPride

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing