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If the coronavirus touches your name β π¦ β youβre infected.
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The unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - Canadian scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual, a scraggly, foul-smelling, unkempt Canadian man, discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's card game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but my opponents just keep topdecking me!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
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Kripp
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A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
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Kripp
My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary
My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him.
On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I donβt post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. Itβs also the first time Iβve received Reddit gold.
When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured Iβm all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. Heβs a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming.
But Reddit, itβs been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I donβt say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
Daily stock prayer
Time for our daily prayer:
Our calls, Who art in PLTR,
Perfect be Thy Timing.
Thy tendies come.
Thy expirations be done,
on earth as it is in Wall Street.
Give us this day our daily Lambos.
And forgive us of our puts,
as we forgive those who buy puts against us.
And lead us not into Debt,
but deliver us unto tendies. Amen