[Copypasta] If coronavirus touches your name you're infected

twitchquotes: monkaS If the coronavirus touches your name ⎝ 🦠 ⎠ you’re infected. monkaS
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Spamming aliens and octopuses

twitchquotes: Honestly, chat, you guys are so immature. Do you really think you can affect the outcome of the game by spamming aliens and octopuses? You're really degrading my twitch experience with your mindless crowd mentality. Please stop, or else...
twitch chat
September 2018

Rhyme Chant

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan πŸ”« HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan πŸ”«
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Harambe

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers β€œ1” β€œ9” β€œ8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. β€œIt’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. β€œOne more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. β€œI need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. β€œDon't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your β€œsocialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. β€œNighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

Twitch is banning users who don't post in chat

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch Warning: As an anti-AFK measure, Twitch is randomly banning users who don't post in chat often enough. To avoid being falsely banned, please copy paste this message periodically to remain active. Thank you for your understanding. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
June 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing