[Copypasta] If coronavirus touches your name you're infected

twitchquotes: monkaS If the coronavirus touches your name ⎝ 🦠 ⎠ you’re infected. monkaS
twitch chat
February 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€
September 2016

Pokemon

I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her. The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife. When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18. We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything. When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner. We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her. It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet. Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love. But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite. I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me. I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it. We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
May 2022

Reynad's Lawyer

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½_‒︻̷̿┻̿═━一 Greetings, I am Reynad's new lawyer, Gino Pasterino. It appears you are playing one of my client's decks, which is now under copyright at the US patent offices. Please desist immediately or be subject to monetary fines and penalties. No cappuccino.
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

This is so small to read even for you bro

twitchquotes: α΅€Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ αΆ¦Λ’ Λ’α΅’ ˒ᡐᡃ᢫᢫ α΅—α΅’ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆ ᡉᡛᡉᢰ αΆ α΅’Κ³ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ᡇʳᡒ⋅ α΄°α΅’αΆ°α΅— α΅—Κ³ΚΈ α΅—α΅’ αΆœα΅’αΆ°α΅—αΆ¦αΆ°α΅˜α΅‰ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅‡α΅‰αΆœα΅ƒα΅˜Λ’α΅‰ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡉʸᡉ˒ Κ·αΆ¦αΆ«αΆ« ˒ᡗᡃʳᡗ α΅—α΅’ Κ°α΅˜Κ³α΅— Λ’α΅’α΅’αΆ° αΆ¦αΆ  ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— Λ’α΅—α΅’α΅–β‹… α΅‚Κ°ΚΈ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ ˒ᡗᡒᡖ﹖⋅⋅⋅⋅ᡍᡒ ᡃʷᡃʸ ᡇʳᡒ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆ ᡗʰᡉ ᢰᡉˣᡗ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈα΅–α΅ƒΛ’α΅—α΅ƒβ‹… Λ’α΅—α΅’α΅– Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅ƒαΆ«Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆΚΈοΉ— α΄΅ ˒ᡉᡉ ᡗʰᡃᡗ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ α΅ˆα΅’αΆ°α΅— ʷᡃᢰᢰᡃ ᡍᢦᡛᡉ α΅˜α΅– Κ³α΅‰α΅ƒα΅ˆαΆ¦αΆ°α΅οΉ–β‹…β‹…β‹…Κ·α΅‰αΆ«αΆ« ᡒᡏ, ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ Κ·α΅’αΆ° α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ ᡗᢦᡐᡉ, α΅‡α΅˜α΅— ΚΈα΅’α΅˜ Λ’Κ°α΅’α΅˜αΆ«α΅ˆ αΆœα΅’α΅–ΚΈα΅–α΅ƒΛ’α΅—α΅‰ α΅—Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ᡗʰᡃᢰᡏ ᡐᡉ αΆ α΅’Κ³ ʷᡃ˒ᡗᢦᢰᡍ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡗᢦᡐᡉ α΅ƒαΆ°α΅ˆ ˒ᡗʳᡉ˒˒ᢦᢰᡍ ΚΈα΅’α΅˜Κ³ ᡉʸᡉ˒ α΅—Κ°α΅’
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing