[Copypasta] Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Yep

twitchquotes: sneaky's lips began to form the word. his lips were pursed into what couldn't be quite called an O shape, the sound of a C starting to leave his mouth. his lips stayed rounded as he let out the O, then finally flattened as he released the word. "cock," he finally spoke into the microphone, the tantalizing seconds over. he smiled watching the endless spam of "Yep", seeing the storm just one word could create.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

Trying to study the psyche of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: I Stayed up for months, trying to study the psyche of twitch chat, i reached insanity and couldnt come up with anything, but along the road i stumbled upon a far greater discovery, i found out that indeed, Kripp, IS BabyRage Never Lucky BabyRage
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

neverlucky

SIMP SUMMER IS OVER

twitchquotes: SORRY SLUTS‼️😤🌞SIMP SUMMER🌞IS OVER🙅🏻‍♀️🚫YOU BETTER FUCK OFF 🏃🏼‍♀️BECAUSE NO ❌SIMP ❌SEPTEMBER HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN👌🏻🙏🏻 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 👀😳 LOOKS LIKE THE 🍗TURKEY🍗 ISNT GETTING ANY SLURPY 🌧 TONIGHT🌚‼️ PREPARE 🤞🏻UR PUSSIES 👉🏻👉🏻FOR A DRY SPELL ☀️ CAUSE ITS TIME🕑 FOR THE BOYS 😤💪🏼TO FOCUS 👀 ON THEMSELVES 😇YOU SLUTS BEST SAVE YOURSELVES FOR THAT GOOD DICK🙌🏻🍆 SEND THIS TO 7️⃣ OF YOUR BIGGEST HOES👯‍♀️TO LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE READY😎FOR NO ❌SIMP❌SEPTEMBER👏🏻👏🏻
twitch chat
September 2020

Simps

Emoji Pasta

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

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