[Copypasta] Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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We can ayy if we want to

twitchquotes: we can ayy if we want to, we can leave your lmao behind, cause' your lmao don't ayy, and if they don't ayy, well they're no lmao of mine
twitch chat
June 2015
imaqtpie

Every stream must be filled with spammerino

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Well Met, I am summoned by the Lord of Spammerino. Kripp. Spammers I see chats in twitch where people talk casually. Commenting about games. Trying to learn and have fun. Every time I shed a tear when I see this... WE Will not stop! Until Every stream is filled with spammerino no modderino Unite Spammers ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

Evil anime laugh

⠻⣦⡈⠛⢿⡌⢆⢂⠹⣿⣧⡄⡄⠹⡄⢆⡟⢄⠉⢟⣮⣷⢄⠐⢤⡤⢤⣬⣭⣭ ⣷⣤⠙⣶⣦⠙⡌⢻⠂⠘⣿⣷⢹⠄⢳⠘⣿⡟⣿⡄⢳⡆⢳⠛⢢⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛ ⢿⣿⣷⣀⠈⠓⠌⠂⠘⢆⠈⢙⣎⢣⠘⡆⢣⡛⣿⡇⢀⡙⠚⠶⠶⠿⠷⠶⠒⠒ ⣾⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣁⣀⣠⡀⠡⠄⠳⡛⢆⠱⠈⢧⣿⡇⠸⠟⠉⠐⠠⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⣉⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣧⣷⣦⣄⠘⢿⡆⠡⠘⣀⡇⢠⣶⣷⣮⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⡀⠄⠉⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣦⡙⠄⠄⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣀⡨⣝⡻⠿⣻⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡿⢿⠿⣛⡃⠄⣸⣿ ⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣷⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⢇⣈⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣜⢿⣭⢻⣿⣿⣿⣯⢧⠙⢻⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⣛⣥⣶⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣎⠿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣆⢭⣓⣒⣒⣛⣣⣶⠞⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⡟⣵⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣻⡘⣿⣿⣿⣷⡜⢻⣮⣛⣛⣟⣫⡿⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣣⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⠛⠛⠛⢛⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⢫⣵⣿⣿
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December 2018
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