twitchquotes:
Jack and Jill went up the hill🗻🏞 So Jack could lick her candy 🍭🍬 🅱️ut Jack got a shock😳🙌💯 And a mouthful of cock👄💦🍆 Cause Jill’s real name is R🅰️ndy 😈
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ben Shapiro counts to one million
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
Ben Shapiro
Kermit the Frog and the Twin Towers
It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. In "It's a Very Muppets Christmas Movie," a film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses. The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.
So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down.
So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise).
But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
Head automatically goes to pillow
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ Heroes of Storm， ｍｙ ｈｅａｄ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏｅｓ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈ ｈｉｍ ｓｐａｍ ２ ｓｋｉｌｌｓ ｗｉｔｈ ｎｏ ｇｒａｐｈｉｃｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｐｉｌｌｏｗ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＬＥＥＰ
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Kripp
You are NOT a closer
It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
ludwig