twitchquotes:
Jack and Jill went up the hill🗻🏞 So Jack could lick her candy 🍭🍬 🅱️ut Jack got a shock😳🙌💯 And a mouthful of cock👄💦🍆 Cause Jill’s real name is R🅰️ndy 😈
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what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
HYDRA SUMMONING SPELL
twitchquotes:
THIS IS THE SUMMONING SPELL 
FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG
FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG
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I dream of becoming a carrot
twitchquotes:
I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be.
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Classic
mizkifSmile
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣼⣿⡟⠁⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠙⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣷⣆⠄⠐⠄⣄⣠⡄⣠⣤⡄⣴⣦⣀⣤⣠⣴⢰⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠈⣈⠃⠻⢿⡷⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠈⠙⠾⠿⢿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡋⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣛⣭⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
God I wish Winston was real
twitchquotes:
God I wish Winston was real. I want him to sit on my face with his furry ass. I want him to yell "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" as he thrusts into me. I want him to spam "OH YEAH" when we're finished. God if Blizzard made life-sized cutouts of Winston I would buy them all for myself and keep them in my basement for my pleasure. God I wish Winston was real.
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