[Copypasta] Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

The Bible is an amazing manga

The Bible is an amazing manga. Chapters 1-5 were written by this guy named Moses but for some reason the author changed around. Abram is definitely my favorite character although for some reason they retconned his name to be Abraham, and in some regional publications his name is Ibrahim. The best ship is Abram x Sarah. Also, they totally nailed the new testament chapter, with some great character development. I never expected Judas' betrayal either.
April 2020

Weebs

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

His name is NINJA, a super small time streamer

twitchquotes: can I promote my friends Mixer stream in here? His name is NINJA and he is a super small time streamer, he just left twitch and could really use all the help he can get. I just want to like his stream a couple times bro, nothing serious bro I just don't want him to go hungry bro. He's going back to his roots and I really want to help him out bro
twitch chat
August 2019

Look, kid. You wanna give up?

twitchquotes: Look, ๐Ÿ‘€ kid. ๐Ÿ‘ฆ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ wanna ๐Ÿ™ˆ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up? ๐Ÿ”บ Fine. ๐Ÿ‘Œ But ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ here ๐Ÿ‘ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ this ๐Ÿ‘ˆ far ๐ŸŒŒ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ all ๐Ÿ’ฏ these ๐Ÿ‘ˆ followers, fans, admirers, and ๐Ÿ‘ hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ groupies by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ Don't ๐Ÿšซ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ champ. You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ boshy.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON
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