[Copypasta] Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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stop trying to talk japanese if you don't even know it

like the word ใฐใ‹ that means idiot in japanese, but the wannabe japanese idiots will always try to type those words in the romaji, they type "baka", i hate seeing shit like that, stop trying to talk japanese if you don't even know it :Z
June 2021

Weebs

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019

Kripp Fapparian

twitchquotes: After the execution of Cattarian, orchestrated by House Fapparian, Rania Cattarian of House Cattarian vowed to take revenge on her husband and the king of Twitcheros, Kripp Fapparian. Rania infiltrated Kripp's Landing to sprinkle PJSalt on Kripp's foodies during the royal streaming session. Kripp's last words were, "***, I'M NEVER LUCKY!"
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

BionicBunion

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–“ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu
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