[Copypasta] Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
I used to be a real ad
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You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Become one with the awkward

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｄａｒｅ， ｍｙ ｐａｌｍ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｆａｃｅ． Ｉ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ， ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

You kids call that a copypasta?

twitchquotes: You kids call that a copypasta? What do you whippersnappers even know about shitposting? You just go to that Twitch Quotes website and copy any kind of crap that is posted there every minute. Well let me tell you: back in my day, we used to craft our own copypasta by hand, full of love and care, using only the freshest memes from Kripp's stream, then shared it with everyone. We didn't simply copy any crap that appeared on our screens. And don't even think of copying this you lazy millenials.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

My mobile phone gets hot if you spam

twitchquotes: pls don't spam. i'm watching on my mobile phone and it gets very hot if you spam so my hands get burned. if you don't want my hands to get burned stop spamming pls
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
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