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BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
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More COVID Copypastas
I wore a mask at Target today
I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
Coronavirus
COVID
ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOOโผ๏ธ๐คง๐คงWhat was thatโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐๐Uh-oh ๐ฏ looks like you just got ๐๐ the Delta variant! ๐๐๐ Donโt you know ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐คข๐ค๐ค๐คค the world ๐ HOE Organization ๐๐
called it the most DOMINANT ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ strain since the start of the ๐ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐๐๐ No more touching daddy ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ง๐ผ until you wash ๐งฝ๐งฝyour dirty ๐พnasty ๐คข little ๐ค๐ผfingers โ๐ป๐ค๐ปโ๐ป๐ค๐ปfor 6๏ธโฃ9๏ธโฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐งผ and water ๐ง ๐
otherwise it doesnโt count ๐คก๐คก๐คก Time to stop ๐ spreading the germs ๐คฎ๐ฅด๐คand start spreading ๐งyour legs๐คค๐ฆถ๐ฝ๐ฆต๐ปbecause everyone ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ๐จโ๐ซ๐ฆน๐พโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐๐from home! ๐ก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐๐พ๐๐ปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐๐ is cumming for you ๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Day 2 without sports
twitchquotes:
Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently sheโs my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.
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Coronavirus
COVID
A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Lego city
A man was spotted coughing in his apartment in Wuhan city.
Start the acetylene torch.
HEY!
Build the acetylene torch.
Lock him up in his apartment.
Weld the door shut.
And censor the media.
The new events that didn't happen from Wuhan city.
(sets not available in China)
Coronavirus
Lego City
COVID
The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population
The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.