[Copypasta] 69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Space Invaders

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▄████▄▄░░░░░ ░░░▄██████████▄░░░ ░▄██▄██▄██▄██▄██▄░ ░░░▀█▀░░▀▀░░▀█▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▀▄░░░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░░▄█▀███▀█▄░░░░ ░░░█▀███████▀█░░░ ░░░█░█▀▀▀▀▀█░█░░░ ░░░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░▄░▀▄░░░▄▀░▄░░░ ░░░█▄███████▄█░░░ ░░░███▄███▄███░░░ ░░░▀█████████▀░░░ ░░░░▄▀░░░░░▀▄░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄▄████▄▄░░░░░ ░░░██████████░░░░ ░░░██▄▄██▄▄██░░░░ ░░░░▄▀▄▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▀░░░░░░░░▀░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░▄██▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░▄██████▄░░░░░ ░░░███▄██▄███░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀▄▄▀▄░░░░░░ ░░░░▀░▀░░▀░▀░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░ ░░▄███████████▄░░ ░░█████████████░░ ░░█████████████░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
ascii art
September 2021

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I've been making memes since I was 11

twitchquotes: Lɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, I'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 11, ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 17, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs 20. Iᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ 6 ʏᴇᴀʀs ɴᴏᴡ. Gᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ɴᴇʀᴅ :^)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

God I want Zarya to be real

twitchquotes: God I want Zarya to be real, I want her large feet to smash my head. I want her muscular thighs to squash my head. It brings me to a near orgasmic feeling by just thinking about her and her muscular toned body. If Activision Blizzard made sexdolls, I would buy every Zarya model for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Fuck I just want Zarya to be real
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing