[Copypasta] 69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Any fellers?

⢣⣈⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠰⣶⣦⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿ ⣜⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣭⣉⡛⠻⢷⣄⠈⢷⣦⣀⠘⠻⠷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣤⣲⠙⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡉⢀⣀⣰⠟⠻⢮⣉⠛⠷⠄⢸⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⡉⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⢀⠙⢷⣤⠄⢻⡿⠿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⠄⣿⣇⣀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢻⣿⣷⣦⢰⣭⡻⣯⣈⡙⠰⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡣⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡻⢤⣝⡻⢾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⡫⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡙⠻⢿⣧⣭⣀⣀⢁⣀⣾⣿⡿⢟⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⢿⣦⣌⣙⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⢛⣛⠛⣿⡛⢛⠛⠛⣿⠛⢻⡟⢛⣿ ⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡟⢩⡽⢀⣿⠁⣼⡇⢰⣿⠄⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣾⣾⠶⠶⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣦⣾⣿⣿⣷⠂⣸⣷⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⠄⣶⠏⠱⠆⣀⡟⢀⣿⡇⢸⡟⠁⠶⢀⣷⠄⣨⣤⡌⠐⠶⣦⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡄⠸⠿⣻⡃⠸⢿⠄⠼⣇⠘⠿⢟⡿⠄⣿⣿⠙⠷⠆⣸⣿⣿ ⡟⢛⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022

Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it

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June 2021

No more WalMart rollbacks for you

twitchquotes: Dear imaqtpie,My name is Nightblue3 and i hate you for trolling me out of challenger. This is your official warning - I have reported you to the security professionals at WalMart. You will be banned on site. No more rollbacks for you.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Ugandan Knuckles 2

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠶⣿⣭⡧⡤⣤⣻⣛⣹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣊⣤⣶⣷⣶⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠸⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⡀⠘⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣯⣽⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠚⢛⣛⣃⢄⡁⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠚⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣷⡄⠊⠉⢻⣟⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠔⠒⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣙⠻⠿⠶⠒⠁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄ ⢿⠟⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⠷⣶⣶⣶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⢀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢨⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠻⠿⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⡇
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December 2018
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