[Copypasta] 69 is so funny

twitchquotes: 69 is so funny. Whenever I hear it, I just burst out laughing. I run out into the living room and grab the Tv remote. I start flicking through the channels. “You guys, it’s so funny, you’ll laugh so hard!” I can barely get it out as I’m laughing so hard, banging the table and snickering while I flick through the TV channels. I finally get to The CW, and the number 69 is on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen! My family and friends who were over all stand up in tremendous applause, and my wife and children come back from upstate to be with my comedic genius!
twitch chat
April 2020
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⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠶⠿⠟⠛⠻⠛⠳⠶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣖⠶⢶⣤⡀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣴⣿⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠿⢿⣷⡀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⡾⠉⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⣷⢰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⢸⡇⠀⠀ ⢻⡜⡄⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣶⡄⣴⣾⣿⣛⣓⠀⠀⣧⢸⣇⠀⠀ ⢈⣧⣧⠀⢩⠞⠿⠿⠻⠀⠘⠙⠃⠛⠛⠓⠀⣿⣻⠿⣷⠀ ⢸⡵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣇⡟⠀ ⠘⢧⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⣤⣤⣶⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⣽⠁⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠰⠋⠉⠙⠂⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣼⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢻⣤⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡷⢦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⡾⠃⠀⠘⡿⠙⢶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⡷⣤⡀⠈⠉⠉⢁⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀
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August 2021

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

An anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Twilight Sparkle? And I'm referring to supercharged Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle with Princess Celestia's guidance, full understanding of the Power of Friendship, control of The Elements of Harmony and Spike, equipped with her royal tiara, the Castle of Friendship, and the Rainbow Friendship Kingdom, as well as her Rainbow Sheen and Rainbow Power, with the magic of all the Alicorns implanted in her chest to give her full control of magic?
twitch chat
September 2017

Stop posting ResidentSleeper face

twitchquotes: Guys stop posting ResidentSleeper face. Not many know, but that ResidentSleeper guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

Puts on sunglasses

Sounds to me like... ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ [punch line] (⌐■_■)
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October 2021
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