[Copypasta] Kripp's MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

My 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe"

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, mom here, my 13 year old son wants 5 dollars so he can "subscribe". I dont know what that is, but a quick Google search shows Kripp subscribers are linked with NaCL overdose disorder. Can you explain this? - Sincerely, a concerned parent
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

salty

Tuck me

twitchquotes: ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　 　　 　　tuck me 　　　 　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° 　 　　 　　 　 　 　 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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