[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019

Just seen Biden in a hotel

twitchquotes: Just seen Biden in a hotel and I asked how he was feeling about the election. He laughed and winked at me, then grabbed me by the hair and dragged me into a toilet and spat in my mouth while whispering “count every vote” over and over in my ear. Make of that what you will.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Bitcoin

░░░░░░░░░░▄▄█▀▀▀▀▀█▄▄░░ ░░░░░░░░▄█▀░░▄░▄░░░░▀█▄ ░░░░░░░░█░░░▀█▀▀▀▀▄░░░█ ░░░░░░░░█░░░░█▄▄▄▄▀░░░█ ░░░░░░░░█░░░░█░░░░█░░░█ ░░░░░░░░▀█▄░▀▀█▀█▀░░▄█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░▀▀█▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀░░
August 2018

If Harambe and my girl both drowning

twitchquotes: If harambe 🐒 and my girl 👧 😍 both drowning 😱 👋 and I can only save one 😤 😬 Catch me at my girl funeral 😔 👻 🌹 with my dick out 😏 💯 😎 🍆
twitch chat
August 2016

Emoji Pasta

Harambe

Kripp gets married in a shack

twitchquotes: Rania: "why are you playing Diablo 3, Kripp? How can we afford Big Fat Greek Wedding with 5k Diablo viewers?" But the Kripp doesn't listen. He plays Diablo 3 and loses all his viewers and gets married in a shack.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing