[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Goblin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠤⢶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠛⢻⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠶⣏⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣈⣿⡿⢷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⠤⠤⠤⠠⠾⠷⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⣛⣋⣉⣁⡀⢳⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⡀⢰⡆⢀⡤⠄⢰⡂⠉⠛⠁⢹⣿⠿⠛⢩⣥⣶⣿⠃⢸⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⣧⡄⡇⢸⠁⣶⣧⠄⣤⣿⣧⠈⠁⣶⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣼⡇ ⠄⠄⢶⣌⡁⠉⠘⠄⠈⢁⣔⠉⢹⣿⢆⢠⣬⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⠟⣠⠶⢋⡽⠁ ⠄⠄⢠⠛⠃⣤⢾⣿⠃⣎⣹⣿⣿⣷⠿⢆⣿⠿⠿⠟⣛⡛⠿⣿⣼⠃⣶⡞⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣼⢱⠖⡀⡀⢿⣿⠿⠛⣁⣋⣭⠖⣌⠻⢿⣿⠟⡆⣹⣥⡏⣀⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⡈⢹⡎⣾⡇⠱⠈⡁⠄⣶⠉⣉⢁⢸⣿⡀⠈⠁⣆⣰⣿⠏⣰⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣓⠘⠃⢛⣠⣥⣤⣶⡶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⠾⢋⣌⠻⠂⣉⣉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣴⡃⣿⡿⢡⣆⢉⣛⣩⣭⣤⣶⣶⣦⣬⣭⣥⣶⡶⠇⣿⡟⢰⣷⡌⣿⣷⡀⠄ ⢀⠻⡇⠛⢃⡟⣿⢰⣌⢙⠻⠿⢿⣿⡿⢻⠟⣁⠉⢡⡆⠋⠞⣸⠟⡁⠉⣿⣧⠄ ⠘⢧⡄⣤⣤⢠⡟⣸⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠⣜⣠⣤⣼⣿⡇⠸⢃⣼⡄⢃⣼⠃⣤⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka

The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 °C or -460 °F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus? The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions. Follow for more updates on this developing story.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Pizza

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣷⣤⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⠆⠰⠶⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⢈⣉⠉⣡⣤⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⢡⣾⣿⣿⣷⠋⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠰⠖⠱⣽⠟⠋⠉⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠉⠖⣀⠀⠀⢁⣀⠀⣴⣶⣦⠀⢴⡆⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⡽⠷⠶⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠛⠋⠘⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣐⣲⣤⣯⠞⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠔⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⣀⡞⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡜⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠿⣻⣥⣀⡀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⠁⠀⡤⠖⠺⢶⡾⠃⠀⠈⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠓⠾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
June 2019

Leifgirl, the Leifman's sister

twitchquotes: Stop it, guys. I'm Leifman's sister, and mother of our beautiful little daughter, Leifgirl. The spam and constant harassment in this chat is driving my beloved Leifman insane. Since he became moderator, he's spending all his time here, and can't provide for his family, anymore. Please, Leifman, get back to work in our salt plant, we need the money.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing