[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
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More Copypastas

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: “I’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
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░░░░░█▐▓▓░████▄▄▄█▀▄▓▓▓▌█ Help ░░░░░▄█▌▀▄▓▓▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▓▓▓▓▓▌█ Doge ░░░▄█▀▀▄▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀░▓▌█ Take ░░█▀▄▓▓▓███▓▓▓███▓▓▓▄░░▄▓▐█▌ Over ░█▌▓▓▓▀▀▓▓▓▓███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▀▓▓▐█ Steam ▐█▐██▐░▄▓▓▓▓▓▀▄░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌█▌ Copy █▌███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▐░░▄▓▓███▓▓▓▄▀▐█ And █▐█▓▀░░▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██████▓▓▓▓▐█ Paste ▌▓▄▌▀░▀░▐▀█▄▓▓██████████▓▓▓▌█▌ ▌▓▓▓▄▄▀▀▓▓▓▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓▓▌█▌DO IT. █▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▄▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█▓█▓█▓▓▓▐
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