[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018

Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat

twitchquotes: Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat and apron onto the beer-stained couch. He turns on the computer monitor which nearly blinds him, and light floods the room, revealing the months worth of pizza boxes and beers strewn about the floor. He opens Microsoft Edge. His fingers stick to the keyboard as he types "Kripp's stream" into Bing search, ready for another successful day of roasting Kripp.
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER

twitchquotes: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) CATTARIAN WAS A SLOW AND DELICIOUS DINNER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Trollge face v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⢉⠩⢍⡙⠛⠋⣉⠉⠍⢉⣉⣉⣉⠩⢉⠉⠛⠲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠁⠀⠂⡠⠑⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠐⠁⢊⠀⠄⠈⢦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠁⠀⠀⠄⣴⡪⠽⣿⡓⢦⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⢖⣻⣿⣒⣦⠀⡀⢀⣈⢦⡀⠀ ⣰⠑⢰⠋⢩⡙⠒⠦⠖⠋⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠘⠦⠤⠴⠒⡟⠲⡌⠛⣆ ⢹⡰⡸⠈⢻⣈⠓⡦⢤⣀⡀⢾⠩⠤⠀⠀⠤⠌⡳⠐⣒⣠⣤⠖⢋⡟⠒⡏⡄⡟ ⠀⠙⢆⠀⠀⠻⡙⡿⢦⣄⣹⠙⠒⢲⠦⠴⡖⠒⠚⣏⣁⣤⣾⢚⡝⠁⠀⣨⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠙⢧⡀⠈⡟⠛⠷⡾⣶⣾⣷⠾⠛⢻⠉⢀⡽⠋⠀⠀⣰⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢤⡠⢂⠌⡛⠦⠤⣄⣇⣀⣀⣸⣀⡤⠼⠚⡉⢄⠠⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠮⣔⡁⠦⠀⣤⠤⠤⣤⠄⠰⠌⣂⡬⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠤⢤⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2021

Suicide test, if Pepe is not standing on the table...

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan This is a suicide test. If Pepe is not standing |""""""| on the table, kill yourself.
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen

Chat Test

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing