[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Sneaky goes to town

twitchquotes: It was a hot and sultry night at the c9 gaming house. everyone was in bed except for meteos and sneaky. "we can't keep doing this, baby" says sneaky. "put that mouth to use, you dirty tramp" replies meteos. "LCS starts tmrw, and if you expect me to carry you again, i need to you to suck me to completion." sneaky grins sl*ttily, and goes to town
twitch chat
January 2015
Sneaky

League of Legends

FeelsTrashMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣀⣀⣀⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠤⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠏⠉⠉⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⡿⢛⣫⣭⣭⣤⣍⠻⣿⠛⠛⡋⠭⠭⠤⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠅⣊⣵⣶⠾⠟⣛⣛⣃⢩⠥⠶⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⡉⢭⠂⢐⢠⡄⠻⠋⠰⢾⣿⠃⠄⠲⠄⠙⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⣓⣒⣒⣒⡒⣊⣥⣿⠶⣶⠶⠶⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣶⣛⣛⣛⣛⠷⠶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⠞⠁⠄ ⢠⣐⡲⠬⣍⣛⡛⠿⠹⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣓⣒⣊⡩⠭⠭⠭⠵⠶⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⣽⣛⠿⠷⣤⣭⣭⣛⣓⣒⡤⠤⠬⣭⣭⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣁⣤⣤⡄⠄⠄ ⣐⡒⠾⢭⣽⣓⡺⠭⢭⣛⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⡃⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⡿⣰⣦⢠⡝⣛⡓⠦⠤⠭⢭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⠯⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⡏⣾⢇⣿⢣⡿⣸⡟⣴⡆⡶⢰⡆⡶⣰⣶⢰⡆⣶⢰⡆⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

I need the 2-3 police here right away

twitchquotes: ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

COPY THIS GEM TO HELP TSM

twitchquotes: COPY PrimeMe THIS PrimeMe GEM PrimeMe TO PrimeMe HELP PrimeMe TSM PrimeMe
twitch chat
April 2019
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing