[Copypasta] I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single

twitchquotes: My god, I would kill someone for a Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single right about now. I mean that bakery bun, coupled with that sexy melted American cheese, the kick of those red onions, and the salty, seasoned square of beef that is always fresh and never frozen cannot be topped anywhere. Every time I bite into a Wendy’s burger, it’s like it’s making love to my tastebuds. I don’t even like eating fast food; unless it’s Wendy’s.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021

Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK

twitchquotes: ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ Sorry, I've dropped my DREADSTEED DECK ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘ ♞ ♘
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Reynad would like Forsen to join Temple Storm

twitchquotes: Hi Foreskin, it's Reynard here. I want you to join my team Temple Storm. You are very salty and we like that. I will play you $500 American, more than a Swede makes in a lifetime. I will also be requiring your salt for my hair.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

I sexually Identify as TheLegend27

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat
January 2017

I sexually Identify as

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