[Copypasta] Useless Spotify ad

twitchquotes: Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
May 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Your anime dreams will not happen

You will never be Japanese. You will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutiepie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime. You will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations. You'll always be a loser.
February 2021

Weebs

This is Trump News reporting

twitchquotes: This is Trump News reporting. A new craze is sweeping Greece where submissives, known as 'Subs' are being brutally brofisted for only 5 dollars! The man responsible for this is currently in hiding under a pile of pizza boxes.
twitch chat
May 2015
Trump

Why aren't there any NA teams at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys I’m new here. But isn’t this a Worldwide league of legends championship? I think It’s really unfair that there aren’t any NA teams, why isn’t such a huge, skilled, representative portion of the playerbase not participating?
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Howling Wolf

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠁⠸⢳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⢸⠸⠀⡠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⢠⣞⣀⡿⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⢈⡇⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠩⢠⡴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡶⠉⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠎⢠⣇⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⠄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⢸⣿⣴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⣀⢾⢟⠴⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠠⣄⠸⢹⣦⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⢋⡟⠀⠀⠁⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠁⢠⠀⣿⠃⠘⢹⣦⢠⣼⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⠫⠤⣶⣿⢀⡏⠀⠀⠘⢸⡟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠿⢿⣿⣤⣴⣿⣣⢾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣨⣟⡍⠉⠚⠹⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⠀⠀⢀⡀⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠟⣹⣧⠃⠀⠀⢿⢻⡀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣦⡀⣸⣆⠀⣾⣧⣯⢻⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣰⣿⣿⡄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣼⢦⡘⣄⠀⠀⡟⡷⠃⠘⢶⣿⡎⠻⣆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡿⢿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠻⢯⢷⣼⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡄⡈⢆⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢹⢿⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠛⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠼⠇⠁
ascii art
January 2024
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing